Behind it all, there is a reason why I got into this reviewing game. Every now and again in life you encounter a work of art, whether it be a film, a piece of music or a book that affects you on such a positive level that the first thing many of us do after savouring its delights is extol its virtues to all and sundry, to spread the word so that others can hopefully gain a similar level of enjoyment from it. There is however a flipside to this. Every now and again you encounter something so abhorrent and irrelevant, which is an insult to basic human intelligence and taste that immediately after attempting to rid the planet of it through cleansing fire, many of us go to great lengths to warn those we care about not to pollute their lives with it. Today dear reader, I’m here to do the latter.

I have devised a sure fire way to explore whether or not you will garner any enjoyment from this album. You may use a pen and paper for the following test, answer each question truthfully and give yourself 5 points for every time you answer ‘yes’. If your final score is higher than that which I have given the album go and buy it.

1)Do you feel that the world is a hostile ‘jungle' in which every person must be tough, brutal and ‘hardcore’ in order to survive the consistent assaults upon their lives and wellbeing on a daily basis?
2)Do you regularly use the following words / phrases in casual conversation: playa, east / west coast, representin’, fly (as in cool), homies, play fo’ keeps?
3)Do you have an unhealthy obsession with the concept of ‘respect’ and will you attempt to use physical violence on those who you feel are ‘disrespectin’ you?
4)Do you ‘run with a crew’?
5)Do you, in your spare time, enjoy going to gigs / clubs where, with other likeminded people, you can tie a scarf round your face and kung fu fight thin air while looking like a monkey with autism on speed?
6)Are you a young middle class male living in suburbia?
7)Do many of the bands you choose to listen to regularly announce their names, the year or a dedication within the first 30 seconds of some of their songs?
8)Do consistent, repetitive, downtuned 3 chord guitar riffs sexually excite you?
9)Do you enjoy the sound of a vocalist who resembles an obese man who is shouting incoherently while holding a golf ball in both cheeks?

Now examine your score, then skip to the end of the review and examine mine. If yours is higher than mine then there is no need for you to read further, this album should be right down your alley. Goodbye now, have a nice day.

For those of you who didn’t and have an IQ higher than my score please feel free to read on.

With this release Countime have managed to fuse the brainless gangs and guns infused lyrical musings of mainstream hip hop, the repetitive downtuned riffs and large muscled man shouting of hardcore and the intelligence and subtlety of a drunken frat boy high on his own hormones. I’ll provide you with some ‘choice’ lyrical samples if I may. From the magnificently titled Droppin’ Seeds comes ‘Yo, someone try step up, run up in you face, knock dat motherfucker out where he stands’. From Down 4 Life comes ‘Yo territory always comin’ under attack, Look both ways before you cross my street, cos in North East LA we play fo’ keeps’. As you can see the vocalist (or as the band likes to call it ‘throat’) has the soul of a poet. I could go on and on but I fail to see the point.

There is so much wrong, but I'll stick to the main points. The songs are repetitive and short, the total running time of the album is just over 25 minutes making it close to EP level. The musicianship veers from dull to just plain awful, there are only so many times very basic distorted power chord progressions and filler drumming can hold my interest, 25 minutes is a bit much of a stretch. The vocals are bad, even for hardcore, and for the most part incoherrent which after examining the lyrical content is probably a good thing. The score of 15 is for the production which is actually quite good.

I listen to metal for many reasons, one of which is to avoid the nonsensical, intelligence insulting, cliché ridden garbage that populates 90% of the charts. When those three characteristics are injected into the genre it pisses me off, I’m not nice when I’m pissed off. This is an album that I happily recommend to absolutely no one (unless of course you passed the test above). The band does have a myspace page with sample tracks (the only ones from this album being Down 4 Life and From the Heavens Above) Myspace Link Feel free to check out the songs, you have been warned.