Metal Reviews

RR: Did you carry any Hollywood grudges with you in the afterlife?

HL: Stone the crows! Where to begin? Well, why has no one figured out that Tom Hanks is a kiddie fiddler? I mean, the cunt plays with model planes and shit. That’s always a ploy to lure in the kiddies. And, have you seen his fucking wife? Ugly as a hat full of busted arseholes. Talk about a horse face. She could eat an apple through a bloody chain link fence. First time I met the cunt, he was talking about South East Asia. I didn’t get his fetish with gooks at first, but, then, he put me onto some shit called 4chan. Pretty funny jokes about boongs and shit. But then he starts on about some of the other stuff on there, like he had a picture of that little napalmed gook girl from Thailand or wherever, and he was dressed as Forest Gump and, well, I can’t really talk about it now.

What else? Oh, first time I met that old bitch Susan Sarandon she shook my hand like a bloke and cut a large fucking fart. I think she called her hemorrhoids ‘wind chimes’. Then she just fucking walked off. I’m pretty sure she was a tranny. Few years later, I get a call out of the blue, and her agent is asking me to get her into The Dark Knight. Cunning as a dunny rat, that slut. And what would she fucking play? Emperor Palpatine is a Star Wars character, you scrag. I could go on forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk

Not sure if I posted this. Watch it if you're angry--it's impossible not to laugh.

http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=fK8M6YonFIE

I couldn't breathe because i was laughing so hard

I didn't think it was funny

neither did i

doesn't seem funny now either..i wonder if there was something wrong with me