Metal Reviews

You just hired?

Hired/rented, whatever. I took it back and got Star Wars Battlefront 2. I thought sequals were supposed to be an improvement on the original? This shit has PS1 graphics. And the best part about the original was the simplicity; just jump in an X Wing and kill shit. In the sequal you can earn Jedi Dollars by occupying three vehicles on the map in a counter-clockwise position when walking backwards and killing enemies in order of appearance in the films - but first you have to unlock Sidious Secrets by flying a fighter into the third engine of a Star Destroyer followed by docking with a TIE Fighter in mid-flight while pressing the button combo of A B B A X X X X X Y A Y L B L R A A A Y X R R. This allows for you to unlock the Lucas Symbiont, which is a character based on that fucked up growth under George Lucas' chin that is both sentient and is responsible for all of his bad decisions. The Lucas Symbiont is only a Jawa that throws rocks and cannot drive tanks. His special features are that he wears a crown and his troops follow his every command, but because he is so shit he gets stomped on by AT ATs all the time - thus revealing his shitness to the dissapointment of his troops.[/satire]

One last whinge. The vehicles! Not only do the maps look like they are dodgy cardboard movie sets that would fall over (like Camelot in Monty Python's Meaning of Life ), but the vehicles look like dodgy McDonald's happy meal toys. The original Battlefront has chunky, detailed and solid looking Y Wings. The sequal has Y Wings that are out of proportion and made of cheap plastic. And they have a machine gun instead of an Ion Cannon! A fucking machine gun! In space! And is this machine gun represented by a volley of tracer fire? Heck no, when you fire it you see a line. A straight, white line come out of the barrel! Lazy fuckers! And another thing about the maps. I want to be able to see more than three metres in front of me when making important military decisions. Not spend my time peering through the famous Crap Fog, which is the fog designers use to hide how crap their games are.

I'm going Christmas shopping now.

During the last weeks I've been replaying old LucasArts adventure games in scummvm. Up to now I've re-finished Loom, Full Throttle, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis and The Secret of the Monkey Island. I'm currently going through Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders.

Fuck those rule (Not that I've played all of those you mentioned). I still think Grim Fandango is the best Lucas Arts adventure ever though. Actually, it might be my favorite game of all time

I know man! They are all very good games. Especially to old-school gamers like me, there's got to be more than visual bling-bling to a game to keep me interested. Grim Fandango is a very beautiful game. It has a fantastic and capturing atmosphere, great voice acting and a twisting and very interesting storyline!
If I finish Zak McKraken tonight, I'll continue my re-playing with either Monkey Island 2 or Sam & Max Hit the Road.

Well I kind of enjoyed Battlefront 2, never played the first one though...

I liked it better than the first one, more varied and interesting...

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

My dude on MapleStory. He pwns, just look at his weapon!

MS is for fags.

I don't get it. I went to this maplestory official site and I tried to check out stuff to understand what it's all about and even though the game is obviously directed to children I still didn't get it. So.. what's this game like? What do you do? Are there any similar older games around for a comparison? In short, is it worth wasting more than half an hour to check it out? Or is the case as Cara described and I quote:

I used to be kinda addicted to it, its basically a side-scrolling mmorpg. You kill enemies, level up (Veeerrrry slowly I might add), do some quests, etc.. Its decent for a free one, but when I bought Guild Wars I just decided to never play it again.

boring as fuck, yeah.

i hate you

Respect for Frigid Symphony = Down.

you had respect for Fridge?

Well, no. But now I have negative respect for Fridge; its like quantum theory, except with a lot less gay porn and more Zelda.

So how do you like it so far? I've been putting lots of time on this game the past week-ends on Wii. I don't play on week days since it's so adictive i'd most likely play too late and be all messed up for work lol. Did you get far yet ?

A LINK TO THE PAST IS THE ONLY REAL ZELDA GAME

REMEMBER THAT QUEST WHERE YOU HAD TO DIG THE FLUTE OUT OF THE FIELD BUT COULD ONLY TRY LIKE 4 TIMES?

THAT WAS SO NOT-ANNOYING.

Not nearly as annoying as when someone stands in front of the tv just as the guy gives you the hint on where to actually dig, forcing you to either dig up Hyrule or to start all over again.