DANE COOK DEAD AT 35

noodles · **Posted:** Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:12 pm

Quote:

Comedian and actor Dane Cook was found dead in his Los Angeles apartment today, the apparent victim of an overdose of blunt force trauma.

Cook, who enjoyed a wide audience of frat boys and autistic children who equate loud with funny, will produce no more cable television specials, nor will movie theaters feature any more of his wacky romps. He is dead. He was beaten to death in his kitchen with a sack of padlocks and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Mourning fans gathered at Dr. Cobb’s Laff Wharf where Cook would regularly perform. “His madcap observations of the banal cushioned the blow of my own banality”, one fan was heard to say. “His bit on snuggerpacs (sugar packets) really made me think.”

Rumors persist that Dane Cook still lives … clearly the delusion of fans who cannot cope with the FACT that he was stalked, hunted, and crushed in his own home where he felt so safe, the home where he never imagined he would fruitlessly beg for his own life. Dane Cook, once a man, is now buried and rotting underground, never to entertain us again.

Please repost until we all agree that this happened.

best myspazz bulletin ever

Legacy Of The Night · **Posted:** Wed Nov 14, 2007 8:44 pm

lololol

Eternal Idol · **Posted:** Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:19 pm

Damn, I was hoping this was real. I really fucking hate that guy. There's two things in this world that really tick me off, and that's bad music and bad stand-up comedy.

traptunderice · **Posted:** Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:39 pm

Thanks for getting a guy's hopes up. :sad:

Mintrude · **Posted:** Wed Nov 14, 2007 10:01 pm

I bet he's seen all these bulletins and will turn it into some criminally unfunny routine.

Eternal Idol · **Posted:** Wed Nov 14, 2007 10:06 pm

Mintrude wrote:

I bet he's seen all these bulletins and will turn it into some criminally unfunny routine.

And it will include him gyrating around the stage in a "wacky" fashion.

Adveser · **Joined:** Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:26 am **Posts:** 2491

This guy sucks!

I wish Mitch Hedgeberg was still around and Dane cook's sorry ass really was dead!

RIP Mitch, and FU Dane

traptunderice · **Posted:** Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:57 am

Adveser wrote:

This guy sucks!

I wish Mitch Hedgeberg was still around and Dane cook's sorry ass really was dead!

RIP Mitch, and FU Dane

It seems like you care a lot about Mitch Hedberg.

Besides spelling, you are correct though.

Ness · **Posted:** Thu Nov 15, 2007 4:09 am

Man, you guys have no sense of humor. Laugh!!! Dane Cook rules.

Jaden · **Posted:** Thu Nov 15, 2007 11:36 am

I actually felt sort of... good when I read the topic title unknowingly. Now I don't know if I should feel guilty.

EdgeOfForever · **Posted:** Thu Nov 15, 2007 2:22 pm

I haven't actually seen any of his stand-ups, I've seen him in movies though. He should stay away from "acting".

Thomas · **Posted:** Thu Nov 15, 2007 2:38 pm

don't now who this guy is, but is he so bad? you actually want him to die?

hellraiser_xes · **Posted:** Thu Nov 15, 2007 4:20 pm

I've not heard of him before this. So I youtubed him and found this clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z468B8vV6XU

I don't find him funny at all. He's a bit overboard with the expression thingy and it ticks me off. And does he have some kidney disorder? He keeps walking around like he needs to piss badly.

TheOctavarius · **Posted:** Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:38 pm

This thread made me lol before I even clicked on it.

Adveser · **Joined:** Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:26 am **Posts:** 2491

traptunderice wrote:

Adveser wrote:

This guy sucks!

I wish Mitch Hedgeberg was still around and Dane cook's sorry ass really was dead!

RIP Mitch, and FU Dane

It seems like you care a lot about Mitch Hedberg.

Besides spelling, you are correct though.

Well, I thought, with a little time he would ascend to the ranks of bill hicks, how true that turned out to be. Sorry about the mistake. I've never seen his name printed, so I wouldn't know how to spell it.

Metal Reviews

DANE COOK DEAD AT 35

Who is online