Metal Reviews https://metalreviews.com/phpBB/ |
|
The "Nice Guy" Curse https://metalreviews.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=11564 |
Page 1 of 3 |
Author: | Seinfeld26 [ Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:02 pm ] |
Post subject: | The "Nice Guy" Curse |
I'll confess, I myself was under this curse up until about three years ago. I thought I'd share this article with everybody else to get some thoughts. Quote: Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last
Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl? Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear. First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work. Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more. To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable. It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value. Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature. The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options. |
Author: | Mintrude [ Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:10 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
God, that made for depressing reading. |
Author: | Cara [ Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:13 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
And that made me feel like a huge bitch. ![]() |
Author: | noodles [ Sat Jun 28, 2008 7:04 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Quote: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes.
this seems more like the flaws of a guy who doesn't talk to very many girls >.> (i used to be like that, and it's more of a "falling for a girl just because she talks to you" flaw rather than a "nice guy" flaw) i just thought that prefacing "just friends" with "you're a really nice guy" was just a polite way of saying "no" and wasn't literally the girl commenting on the guy's personality. |
Author: | Kathaarian [ Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:12 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Code: What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more. Code: What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more. Code: What I suggesting Code: What I Code: What Code: wat
|
Author: | Astaroth [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 4:20 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
well, when I like a girl I don't show it in any way. That hasn't got me any results yet. Anyway, it's not all too new for me, this course i mean. Women don't like "nice" guys because "nice" also means you are a pussy. I think it's funny that women wants equality but at the same time they still want a real man in a patriac relationship, and a man who doesn't compromises when his bitch are unreasonable (which is in fact just a mere test of his strenght), etc etc... From a Darwinistic point of view it makes sense. I still think there is room for being nice, otherwise I'm screwed - or maybe I should just turn gay - men are easier to understand, women wants the romantic prince on the white horse, the sensitive guy and the masculine dickhead - all in one... I say, fuck women!!! They don't know what they want, except for one thing, they all want to suck you wallet dry. In all seriousness, though; be selfconfident, mature, funny, strong, don't be desperate or emo and you can get any girl you want... yeah, and be goodlooking and rich too, women are awful materialistic, but their brains are also smaller, so.... |
Author: | Etherhunter [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 7:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
I think that better describes younger women. But as they grow older, the "jerk" approach begins to lose its appeal. I'm thinking it has something to do with the need for stability, etc. |
Author: | Metalhead_Bastard [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:44 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Well then, lucky I'm a complete dick isn't it. |
Author: | Caligula_K [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
So girls don't like it when I tell them I have a small penis? Fuckers. |
Author: | Kathaarian [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:59 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Astaroth wrote: well, when I like a girl I don't show it in any way. That hasn't got me any results yet.
Anyway, it's not all too new for me, this course i mean. Women don't like "nice" guys because "nice" also means you are a pussy. I think it's funny that women wants equality but at the same time they still want a real man in a patriac relationship, and a man who doesn't compromises when his bitch are unreasonable (which is in fact just a mere test of his strenght), etc etc... From a Darwinistic point of view it makes sense. I still think there is room for being nice, otherwise I'm screwed - or maybe I should just turn gay - men are easier to understand, women wants the romantic prince on the white horse, the sensitive guy and the masculine dickhead - all in one... I say, fuck women!!! They don't know what they want, except for one thing, they all want to suck you wallet dry. In all seriousness, though; be selfconfident, mature, funny, strong, don't be desperate or emo and you can get any girl you want... yeah, and be goodlooking and rich too, women are awful materialistic, but their brains are also smaller, so.... This is by far the best post made in this forum, ever. |
Author: | Thrashtildeth [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 5:41 am ] |
Post subject: | |
I'm a proponent of the ol' club 'em and drag 'em home by the hair method. Good enough for my forebears, good enough for me. And it's worked suitably well so far. |
Author: | kelly [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 6:45 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Stupid article. ![]() |
Author: | hellraiser_xes [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:57 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Interesting article. But I don't think it best describes all women. Maybe it's applicable to the younger girls, when they're still rebellious and adventurous. As for the older gang, they'd probably prefer someone more gentle and stable/predictable. So Pete, since you're a dick, I guess you won't be scoring with the MILFs. I will!! Now, where's my office milf bitch....... |
Author: | Metalhead_Bastard [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 2:48 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
hellraiser_xes wrote: Interesting article. But I don't think it best describes all women. Maybe it's applicable to the younger girls, when they're still rebellious and adventurous. As for the older gang, they'd probably prefer someone more gentle and stable/predictable.
So Pete, since you're a dick, I guess you won't be scoring with the MILFs. I will!! Now, where's my office milf bitch....... I love MILFs more than anything in the world haha, they rule! My mate's 18 and his hot as hell girlfriend is 32. He's something of a legend 'round these parts. |
Author: | Astaroth [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:06 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Metalhead_Bastard wrote: hellraiser_xes wrote: Interesting article. But I don't think it best describes all women. Maybe it's applicable to the younger girls, when they're still rebellious and adventurous. As for the older gang, they'd probably prefer someone more gentle and stable/predictable. So Pete, since you're a dick, I guess you won't be scoring with the MILFs. I will!! Now, where's my office milf bitch....... I love MILFs more than anything in the world haha, they rule! My mate's 18 and his hot as hell girlfriend is 32. He's something of a legend 'round these parts. hot milfs are teh best in ze world!!! ![]() |
Author: | Azrael [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:14 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
actually i'd say the only girls that like assholes are assholes themselves. the committed girls that i'm friends wiith all have cool boyfriends. |
Author: | Seinfeld26 [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:45 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
There's a difference between a nice/friendly guy, and a "nice guy." A nice/friendly guy is a guy who's nice and respectful with everybody, but also knows how to have a good time. A "nice guy" is that really nervous guy you see walking down the street with white socks and a "Jesus Loves You" tee-shirt, who usually acts overly nice with girls out of a desperate need for acceptance. |
Author: | Faffel [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:08 am ] |
Post subject: | |
There's no nice guy curse, there's only the curse of being a moron who can't be sociable. I dropped myself out of society for years and still had have no problem dealing with girls. In fact, the only person I consider my friend is a woman. If you constantly throw yourself at them and let them stomp over you, of course they won't respect you. Neither would a man. |
Author: | heatseeker [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:29 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Faffel wrote: In fact, the only person I consider my friend is a woman.
You have one friend? ![]() |
Author: | Faffel [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:52 am ] |
Post subject: | |
People consider me their friend. I only consider one person my friend. She's the only person I'm not too lazy to spend time with. |
Page 1 of 3 | All times are UTC + 1 hour |
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |