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 Post subject: I present to you: The dead little duckling
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:58 pm 
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Karma Whore
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first this; i'm sorry for possible misspelling, twisted humor, totally weird statements and random insanity in this thing.

The dead little duckling


You don’t believe in love if you have never counted the almost invisible little hairs on the left shoulder of your love. Even more, it is no use to do a rain dance from under an umbrella. With all this I do not tell new wisdoms but one may try. Two owls hunting, but when I take a closer look, they appear to be ducks. Where is the little duckling? It is dead. It is touching to say the least. Or am I exaggerating? The German language is a beautiful language as long as it is not spoken nor written. Don’t forget you’re hearing this from an anti-polyglot. One with a rather large knife in his back pocket that is. If I would ever choose a hobby, it would be skinning. The skinning of an accidentally found pedestrian in a gutter during a winter night. Could it be any more romantic? In my honest opinion: yes. But my lips remain sealed. However slightly penetrated by the godly tongue of my dearest love, my muse, my alpha and omega, my soul mate if you will. But I’m not telling names. Allah may strike my with thunder and lightning before I do so. I hate gossiping. I hate quite a lot now to think of it. God forbid that I would ever be completely engulfed by hatred, and mad headaches and the rusty nail I shoved not very gently in my eye socket. Twenty seven almost invisible hairs, I’ve counted them without my glasses. I want pureness, I want to unravel wild mysteries, riddles nature itself couldn’t know the answers of. If my hair should turn grey, I would cut it shorter than the average military haircut. Paint it? No, out of the question, I want to die colourless. I do believe in fairytales, but only if they have no end. I believe in a lot of things. I wish I would feel less butterflies in my stomach. I think it comes from the sickness and death inside of me. Two ducks who totally ignore my presence, such things drive me so close to a hysterical breakdown that I would turn blue in approximately seven seconds. People always think bad things only happen to other people. Some things never happen to me, because I don’t want it. Love sorrow? Not since I’ve been counting hairs and decided there is not much else I want to do. Lately, I’ve crossed a few borders. A French gendarme asked me: ‘Et?’ I answered: ‘Non’ That was enough. She let me through. That woman understood me. It’s not because a woman is armed and speaks French that one word isn’t enough for her. Come honey, please come to me, I’m home again and I hope I can stay forever? Don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you anymore, I’ve left my danger behind in places far away. Embrace me with the arms of a damsel into stress, that has suddenly become happy again. Unarmed. The misery is over, although the little duckling is dead. Don’t be sad. Let me feel your little hairs rise from desire to happier times. I’ll even speak German to you, just to make you laugh. Laugh that special laugh to make you relax, to leave all those troubles behind. Close that umbrella, there’s no stopping that rain anyway. I want to get wet and cold with you, due to the immobility that will mean pure love. Don’t pay attention to the calls of the owls, don’t shiver, ignore the smoke signals. Everything that is good is an addiction. The remedies are bandages on a wooden leg, cut from a tree that isn’t from this earth. A tree with branches where our souls will hang from. God watches it with one eye blind. The angels remain in silence. There is but one language that should be spoken and written and that is the language of the anti-polyglot. That is me. The ones who don’t understand me are requested to ignore my words. The little duckling is more beautiful than any other thing alive. Luckily it remains invisible.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:35 am 
You should be sorry about not including a paragraph.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:12 am 
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Karma Whore
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Location: From the sunshine state of Euphoria
I think he should be sorry for putting it in green and hurting my eyes :twisted:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:38 am 
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Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:02 am
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I like it. Who wrote it?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:24 pm 
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NewFriendAncientEnemy wrote:
I like it. Who wrote it?
i did


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:44 pm 
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Banned Mallcore Kiddie

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Fucking psycho. It's awsome.

:wink:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:52 pm 
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Karma Whore
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NewFriendAncientEnemy wrote:
Fucking psycho. It's awsome.

:wink:


hehe, i'm currently translating another column
a little spoiler: it's called: "Adolf Hitler meets Isiah Cohen

full with dark humor, absurd dialogues and very original ways of torture


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:56 pm 
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Banned Mallcore Kiddie

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What's your inspiration? Where is this all coming from, man?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:57 pm 
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NewFriendAncientEnemy wrote:
What's your inspiration? Where is this all coming from, man?


medication and just my weird fantasy my friend


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 2:07 pm 
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MetalReviews Staff
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Ok, this is seriously awesome. Much praise to you my friend, I wish I could write like that...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 3:18 pm 
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Einherjar
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Location: Brisbane; Uhshtraaylyah
Very good. Is that an example of 'automatic writing', where you type all the random stuff that comes into your head and that you find in the end that it kind of all fits together?

Anyway I can't resist a good short-storyathon. Here's another contribution of mine...

The Anxiety of Jeremy Irons

To say the character in this story bore a name resembling a famous movie star named Jeremy Irons would be a fair assumption, for his name not only was similar, but identical. But to say our character bore any physical resemblance to his famous namesake would be nothing short of folly. Where the well-paid Jeremy Irons is lean and angular, our Jeremy Irons was a connoisseur of fine takeaways and immune to acne treatments. Residing not in a huge mansion upon a hill (which is where they usually are, aren’t they) but instead living a somewhat hermitic existence in his parents’ attic amid boxes of paraphernalia and church leaflets. Both Jeremy’s were the same age though.
When Jeremy Irons lacked significance in everything he always found solace in his computer. Nothing pleased him more than preaching the word to anyone online whether they were willing or not. He was what one would call a very aggressive Christian computer hacker, interrupting and infiltrating conversations and the like in order to preach the word of his god.
It was such behaviour that would lead to him being singled out amid the millions of computer users worldwide to be the bearer of an important message.
One day Jeremy Irons (not the famous one) tapped feverishly away at his keyboard, and the gospel flowed from his mind to his fingertips to the monitor of a Brazilian university student who was begging him to stop it and go away, when suddenly the screen went blank.
Jeremy Irons sat stunned for a minute, then bent under his desk to check the wiring. Finding it all in order he restarted the computer and all was fine, until about ten minutes later when the screen shut down again. This continued to happen, and each time the screen went off the hard drive made a strange gurgling noise. Jeremy Irons decided to take it down to the shops in the morning to have it looked at.
When Jeremy Irons retrieved his computer from the shops and a guarantee that nothing was wrong and an absurd fee changed hands, he returned to the attic and plugged it in. Sure enough it worked fine and as the hours passed Jeremy Irons forgot about the problem with the screen, until it went off again with a gurgle and a coo from the hard drive.
Mightily vexed, Jeremy Irons marched back to the shop and demanded that they fix his computer.
Another assurance and another unjustifiable fee later, Jeremy Irons was back in his attic typing manically away when a few hours later, you guessed it, the screen went down again. But this time there was no gurgle or coo, but a vicious and mocking peal of laughter from the hard drive.
Infuriated, Jeremy Irons dove under the desk and began pulling out all the wires as the computer sang a taunting and repetitive rhyme at him. With a hand over one ear he banged the computer with the other and pleaded with it to stop teasing him, but all he received was a long and drawn out raspberry. Suddenly it stopped and his monitor came back on. But instead of his usual desktop there was in its place a crudely drawn and lopsided pair of breasts, accompanied by a mischievous giggling.
Jeremy Irons wailed and flung his hands in the air, then dropped to the floor and wept, where he stayed until the end of his days.

The point to this story is that although artificial intelligence is developing rapidly, it is still in its infancy.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 5:36 pm 
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Karma Whore
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yes it is automatic writing, the only decent work i can make is basically found on the idea. still at least an hour before i post my new story although it's a lot shorter but i have to translate over 40 pages of stories, columns and latin texts this weekend.


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