Metal Reviews

Newest and Best Metal Reviews!
FAQ :: Search :: Members :: Groups :: Register
Login
It is currently Sat Jul 05, 2025 9:03 pm



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 35 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next   
Author Message
 Post subject: Tourney 3-Round 2, Match 4(12): Fingon vs Lizardtail
PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:31 pm 
Offline
Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:02 am
Posts: 645
Location: Here, Now.
WELCOME TO ROUND TWO!!
The last match of round two that is. I'm letting this one start EARLY because Zad basically has already won, but this will also give the judges more time to vote, and will result in a longer break for the poets. So, judges, go leave your mark on the Zad/SoK affair, then come back here. Fingon/Lizardtail, read below carefully. Don't misunderstand what is going on. I'm not rushing anything on your part.

And now, business:
Okay, here's how it will work. For the next 48 hours, Fingon and Lizardtail will have just that! Exactly 48 hours to post a poem/set of lyrics. The second both poems are posted, THE JUDGES are free to vote. Please make your vote obvious, and be nice!

Voting will end exactly 72 hours from now.

1 poem
vs
1 poem

One vote per JUDGE. Happy writing, all!

"Now" on tap: Fingon vs Lizardtail

Up next: Round 3, the semis~!

GOOD LUCK, SEE YOU ALL AT THE SEMIS!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:41 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 4:58 pm
Posts: 1999
Location: Frownland
Code:
"Cable Tow"

(That which hastens the snow's descent must be fearful indeed.)

Just as you've managed to set aside your guilt
for the figure huddling in the snow,
scavenging for the coins he earned
with his beautiful voice,
your meal arrives.

After all, you've had to make some sacrifices.
A man like that can only blame himself,
his talent going to waste,
falling on deaf ears.
He deserves scorn.

(Don't preach with your mouth full, little one.)

The busker folds a paper bag into his jacket
and endeavours to ford the slush.
A car with broken headlights
rounds the sharp corner,
clouded in snow.

The man's straggling hair flows in the wind,
his deer-in-the-headlights stance
amusing the cafe's patrons.
All you can do
is look away.

(No, guilt isn't the point of this exercise, my child.)
[Then what is the lesson?]

In mute horror, you retreat inside
to indulge in your own miseries,
in envy of another man's death.

(Look you fool! Bear witness to a hero!)
[I see no hero.]
(Then at the last, I see that I have misjudged you.)

In these moments, our barriers fail,
emotions runneth over.
The mirrors that face each other
are ever so tilted.
Radiation of aspiration,
sign-language gematria,
These windows let in more than light
and more escapes than heat.
Empathic electricity jumps from one node to another.

(You're in danger! Foolish boy, refocus your centre!)
[I will not be browbeaten.]

In disgust, you turn to pick up your coat.
It wouldn't be the first time
that you abandoned a meal.
One more sacrifice
for the elders.

Outside lies relief and optimism. Unhurt,
the busker digs out the errant car.
The twice-grateful driver
offers to transport
but is refused.

With confidence, you approach the lucky man,
your favourite leather wallet in hand.
He grins, too proud to beg,
yet you offer coins.
He starts to laugh.

"You haven't even heard my song yet, little one!"
He throws your meagre wealth high
into the clear, unclouded sky;
generous hypocrisy
rains upon you.

Empathic electricity jumps from one node to another.


enjoy.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:22 am 
Offline
Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:02 am
Posts: 645
Location: Here, Now.
lizardtail wrote:

enjoy.


No.
















:P


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:49 am 
Lizzy! That's good, dude! You've got a little of my style in there with the dialogue and whatnot. Good stuff, man. I liked it a lot.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:03 am 
Offline
Ist Krieg
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:26 pm
Posts: 6810
Location: lolchair
I vote Flingon.


no, wait, I can't.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:34 am 
Offline
Karma Whore
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 3:11 pm
Posts: 3207
bah why even bother when all you asshole put so much serious work in this, there is a life besides poetry you know :roll: :wink:
anyway: sth i wrote last night after 1,5 bottle of gin:

Duysternisse kome (Darkness Cometh)

You smell that?

That’s the smell of rain
It’s the piss of angels coming down
In which we’re willing to drown
Because drowning hardly causes any pain

You feel that?

That’s electricity in the air
Vibrations that kill you cell by cell
You know you don’t like it but do you dare to tell?
Face the fact; life isn’t fair

You hear that?
That’s the sound of the Apocalypse
The trampling of innocents in the broad daylight
The weaker generation, too scared to stand and fight
The flood is coming but can they reach the ships?

You believe that?
Following the masses and hailing the anarchy
Raping and pillaging as your instincts tell
Not knowing where your inner soul will be doomed to dwell
Not knowing you’re losing your identity

You see that?
It’s you biggest fear, bringing the head of your daughter
You almost choke in your own breath and try to flee
No chance for mercy this time, can’t you see?
The die is cast, begun has the slaughter

You’re doomed, you’re tale now ends


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:49 am 
I vote Dee (Lizardtail)

NP
"Serge Gainsbourg, Great Jewish Music"


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:04 am 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:10 pm
Posts: 2007
Location: My sickbed.
Dee (lizardtail)
I almost voted Fingon, but he lost it at the second to last line (...begun has the slaughter). It's an archaic, awkward construction and it drives me up the friggin' wall.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:06 am 
Offline
Karma Whore
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 3:11 pm
Posts: 3207
Carnifex Umbris wrote:
Dee (lizardtail)
I almost voted Fingon, but he lost it at the second to last line (...begun has the slaughter). It's an archaic, awkward construction and it drives me up the friggin' wall.


hmm..sucks to see how i 'tripped at the finishline' but it's a direct translation from sentence constructions in Dutch


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:41 am 
Offline
Metal King
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 1:29 pm
Posts: 1502
lizard the vote gets!

.:crast:.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:13 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:10 pm
Posts: 2007
Location: My sickbed.
Fingon wrote:
Carnifex Umbris wrote:
Dee (lizardtail)
I almost voted Fingon, but he lost it at the second to last line (...begun has the slaughter). It's an archaic, awkward construction and it drives me up the friggin' wall.


hmm..sucks to see how i 'tripped at the finishline' but it's a direct translation from sentence constructions in Dutch

Ah. Unfortunately, that construction in English went out with the Industrial Revolution. Occasionally someone will use it in poetry, but they're generally being pretentious, and it shows. Too bad it was a translation issue here. I really liked your poem otherwise. :(


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:29 pm 
Offline
Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:02 am
Posts: 645
Location: Here, Now.
Both were awesome. Dee's is more obvious, but with more of a cryptic tone, while Fingon's is a little harder to imagine, but with a more straight forward tone.

I'll come back later to vote.

Actually, I wont. Dee just told a story, and it had no rhythm, thus it was just a short story to my eyes... it even had a little twist moral at the end like a short story.

Fingon gets my vote.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:39 pm 
Fingon.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:44 pm 
Offline
Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:02 am
Posts: 645
Location: Here, Now.
Slayer Of Kings wrote:
Fingon.


I'm going to allow this vote because one judge, Sir W. has voted once... :?

Otherwise, you would have had to wait until next round. :lol:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:22 pm 
Slayer Of Kings wrote:
Fingon.


I smell a belgian conspiracy here Image


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:33 pm 
Offline
Karma Whore
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 3:11 pm
Posts: 3207
Stefan wrote:
Slayer Of Kings wrote:
Fingon.


I smell a belgian conspiracy here Image


fuck you stefan! Just because there aren't any fags uhm i mean Frenchies here besides you and the ever so popular stub :roll:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:44 pm 
Offline
Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:02 am
Posts: 645
Location: Here, Now.
Fingon wrote:
Stefan wrote:
Slayer Of Kings wrote:
Fingon.


I smell a belgian conspiracy here Image


fuck you stefan! Just because there aren't any fags uhm i mean Frenchies here besides you and the ever so popular stub :roll:


Stub's cool. I don't get what people see against him.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:45 pm 
Offline
Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:02 am
Posts: 645
Location: Here, Now.
NewFriendAncientEnemy wrote:
Fingon wrote:
Stefan wrote:
Slayer Of Kings wrote:
Fingon.


I smell a belgian conspiracy here Image


fuck you stefan! Just because there aren't any fags uhm i mean Frenchies here besides you and the ever so popular stub :roll:


Stub's cool. I don't get what people see against him.


Oh, right... he's French. :P


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:47 pm 
Offline
Karma Whore
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 3:11 pm
Posts: 3207
NewFriendAncientEnemy wrote:
NewFriendAncientEnemy wrote:
Fingon wrote:
Stefan wrote:
Slayer Of Kings wrote:
Fingon.


I smell a belgian conspiracy here Image


fuck you stefan! Just because there aren't any fags uhm i mean Frenchies here besides you and the ever so popular stub :roll:


Stub's cool. I don't get what people see against him.


Oh, right... he's French. :P


i don't really hate him but you can't say many ppl really like him.
And to Stefan: Carnifex first intended to vote for me, NFAE voted for me, are they Belgian? i don't think so :roll:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:00 pm 
Offline
Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:02 am
Posts: 645
Location: Here, Now.
Fingon wrote:
NewFriendAncientEnemy wrote:
NewFriendAncientEnemy wrote:
Fingon wrote:
Stefan wrote:
Slayer Of Kings wrote:
Fingon.


I smell a belgian conspiracy here Image


fuck you stefan! Just because there aren't any fags uhm i mean Frenchies here besides you and the ever so popular stub :roll:


Stub's cool. I don't get what people see against him.


Oh, right... he's French. :P


i don't really hate him but you can't say many ppl really like him.
And to Stefan: Carnifex first intended to vote for me, NFAE voted for me, are they Belgian? i don't think so :roll:


Yeah, if I was Belgian I would have killed myself years ago.

That cinches it. No Conspiracy. :D


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 35 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next   


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 37 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group