Metal Reviews

Newest and Best Metal Reviews!
FAQ :: Search :: Members :: Groups :: Register
Login
It is currently Fri Jul 04, 2025 12:44 am



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next   
Author Message
 Post subject: Bloody hell!
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:22 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:02 pm
Posts: 29896
Location: UK
A Jewish associate just emailed this to me:

Quote:
hi guys, someone showed this to me, i figured ill share

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead a brick smashed into the Jag's side door.
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was this all about and who are you? just what the heck are you doing? Thats a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost alot of money. Why did you do it?!"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister... please, i'm sorry but i didnt know waht else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because noone else would sto..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "Its my brother," he said "he rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and i cant lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? Hes hurt and hes too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swollow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurridly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his fancy hankerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be ok.
"Thank you, and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair bound brother down the sidewalk towards their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept it there to remind him of this message. "Dont go thru life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we dont have time to listen, he has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice.


If God had a refrigirator, your picture would be on it.
If God had a wallet your picture would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Face it, friend - He's crazy about you


God didnt promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun withour rain. But he did promise strength for the pain, comfort for the tears and light for the way.


Is this what's known as 'making a pass'? :?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:28 pm 
ow.. what a lovely story :lol:


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:31 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:02 pm
Posts: 29896
Location: UK
Astaroth wrote:
ow.. what a lovely story :lol:


I was sure it was going to end with the 'disabled' kid stabbing him in the face or something. I must say, if some little shit dented my car with such a flimsy excuse I'd run them both over, and I like kids! Dread to think what Kayla'd do.

Ah, religion.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:33 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:10 pm
Posts: 2007
Location: My sickbed.
Zad wrote:
Astaroth wrote:
ow.. what a lovely story :lol:


I was sure it was going to end with the 'disabled' kid stabbing him in the face or something. I must say, if some little shit dented my car with such a flimsy excuse I'd run them both over, and I like kids! Dread to think what Kayla'd do.

Ah, religion.

What? Just because I don't want to have kids myself doesn't mean I want to hurt the ones that do exist.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:39 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:02 pm
Posts: 29896
Location: UK
Carnifex Umbris wrote:
Zad wrote:
Astaroth wrote:
ow.. what a lovely story :lol:


I was sure it was going to end with the 'disabled' kid stabbing him in the face or something. I must say, if some little shit dented my car with such a flimsy excuse I'd run them both over, and I like kids! Dread to think what Kayla'd do.

Ah, religion.

What? Just because I don't want to have kids myself doesn't mean I want to hurt the ones that do exist.


Even if they attacked your car?

Anyway, meant you more as a general example of a non-kid-lover.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:43 pm 
Offline
Ist Krieg
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:26 pm
Posts: 6810
Location: lolchair
If someone is going to scratch my future Jag in order to give me a religious awakening it better be Jesus himself. Only he can tolerate the pain I'm going to deliver.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:44 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:02 pm
Posts: 29896
Location: UK
Kathaarian wrote:
If someone is going to scratch my future Jag in order to give me a religious awakening it better be Jesus himself. Only he can tolerate the pain I'm going to deliver.


Not Mohammed?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:46 pm 
Offline
Ist Krieg
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2004 5:37 pm
Posts: 7932
Location: Glasgow
Couldn't God have just, y'know, used his OMNIPOTENT POWAZ to say "yo dude, there's like a tard on the ground over there?"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:48 pm 
Offline
Ist Krieg
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:26 pm
Posts: 6810
Location: lolchair
Zad wrote:
Kathaarian wrote:
If someone is going to scratch my future Jag in order to give me a religious awakening it better be Jesus himself. Only he can tolerate the pain I'm going to deliver.


Not Mohammed?


No, he can kick my ass. He led armies of thousands and kicked a lot of ass in his time.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:50 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:02 pm
Posts: 29896
Location: UK
Kathaarian wrote:
Zad wrote:
Kathaarian wrote:
If someone is going to scratch my future Jag in order to give me a religious awakening it better be Jesus himself. Only he can tolerate the pain I'm going to deliver.


Not Mohammed?


No, he can kick my ass. He led armies of thousands and kicked a lot of ass in his time.


Ah. Moses'd win an armwrestle, though. Can your guy split the sea? I don't think SO!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:52 pm 
So if you need to get someone's attention but he is running through the street too fast, it is entirely warranted to throw a brick in his face?


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:54 pm 
Offline
Ist Krieg
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2004 5:37 pm
Posts: 7932
Location: Glasgow
And he never got the dent fixed? Penny pinching Jew.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:56 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:02 pm
Posts: 29896
Location: UK
It's this bit that creeps me out:

Quote:
If God had a refrigirator, your picture would be on it.
If God had a wallet your picture would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Face it, friend - He's crazy about you


So, God's a teenage girl with a crush on me? What a pity all those Jews pissed him off fifty-odd years ago.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:59 pm 
Offline
Ist Krieg
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2004 5:37 pm
Posts: 7932
Location: Glasgow
Wait, wait, wait.....hold everything....God doesn't have a fridge? Where does he keep his God beer? And his God yoghurt? :shock:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 6:00 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:02 pm
Posts: 29896
Location: UK
Radagast wrote:
Wait, wait, wait.....hold everything....God doesn't have a fridge? Where does he keep his God beer? And his God yoghurt? :shock:


Oh, he's got a fridge. Just not a "refrigirator", whatever the hell they are.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 6:21 pm 
Offline
MetalReviews Staff
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:10 pm
Posts: 2007
Location: My sickbed.
Zad wrote:
Carnifex Umbris wrote:
Zad wrote:
Astaroth wrote:
ow.. what a lovely story :lol:


I was sure it was going to end with the 'disabled' kid stabbing him in the face or something. I must say, if some little shit dented my car with such a flimsy excuse I'd run them both over, and I like kids! Dread to think what Kayla'd do.

Ah, religion.

What? Just because I don't want to have kids myself doesn't mean I want to hurt the ones that do exist.


Even if they attacked your car?

Anyway, meant you more as a general example of a non-kid-lover.

I'd kick anyone's ass who attacked my beloved Ramenmobile. Age doesn't matter.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 7:29 pm 
Offline
Karma Whore
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 12:46 pm
Posts: 4316
Location: England
*child throws brick at future Pete's car, Pete walks over, disabled kid yadayada. "May God bless your soul etc!" Pete pushes him down steep hill whilst he screams going into oncoming traffic. "Mister, I'm sorry!" "It's OK, the damage can be repaired." Pete gets into the car, kicks the the little bastard to the floor, shuts the door and reverses over his head*

The little prick could've tthrown something else at the car, a small rock or something, maybe himself. Fuck God.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 7:48 pm 
Offline
Metal King

Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 1:10 pm
Posts: 1552
Location: HELLsinki, Finland
Metalhead_Bastard wrote:
*child throws brick at future Pete's car, Pete walks over, disabled kid yadayada. "May God bless your soul etc!" Pete pushes him down steep hill whilst he screams going into oncoming traffic. "Mister, I'm sorry!" "It's OK, the damage can be repaired." Pete gets into the car, kicks the the little bastard to the floor, shuts the door and reverses over his head*

The little prick could've tthrown something else at the car, a small rock or something, maybe himself. Fuck God.


Priceless. :lol:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 10:09 pm 
Metalhead_Bastard wrote:
*child throws brick at future Pete's car, Pete walks over, disabled kid yadayada. "May God bless your soul etc!" Pete pushes him down steep hill whilst he screams going into oncoming traffic. "Mister, I'm sorry!" "It's OK, the damage can be repaired." Pete gets into the car, kicks the the little bastard to the floor, shuts the door and reverses over his head*

The little prick could've tthrown something else at the car, a small rock or something, maybe himself. Fuck God.


Slightly flawed, as the little child would obviously own your ass completely.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 10:40 pm 
Slayer Of Kings wrote:
Metalhead_Bastard wrote:
*child throws brick at future Pete's car, Pete walks over, disabled kid yadayada. "May God bless your soul etc!" Pete pushes him down steep hill whilst he screams going into oncoming traffic. "Mister, I'm sorry!" "It's OK, the damage can be repaired." Pete gets into the car, kicks the the little bastard to the floor, shuts the door and reverses over his head*

The little prick could've tthrown something else at the car, a small rock or something, maybe himself. Fuck God.


Slightly flawed, as the little child would obviously own your ass completely.


indeed.. that and the fact homeless ppl don't have cars :)


Top
  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next   


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group