Metal Reviews :: View topic - Death (the event)

my mum died when i was 7 (suffocated in a fire), and then my dad got cancer (stomach) when i was 15.

when i was 7 i guess i didn't really grasp what was happening, even though i was prety close to her, as for my dad i never got along with him but i cried when he died, thinking about how much of an asshole i had been to him, taking him for granted and all (so there's a lesson for every young'un who thinks he hates his family). i got over it in a day or two, but it sucked on that day.

as for my sister, i'd wouldn't just shrug it off, but i'd rather not think about that now.

and old people... when they die i just think it's for the best. when someone can barely move around unnassisted and can't remember what they had for lunch, i think it's almost selfish to want someone back rather than to let them finally rest.

I have a huge problem with funerals, it get me mellow and I really have problems surpressing my urge to burst out in laughter. I'd rather cry but it just doesn't happen... :sad:

People just handle things differently. Some people can't move on quickly from things like this, others can. Some people love wallowing in misery.

I'll bet a lot of the people offering you condolensces walked away thinking how empty it sounded. Its just a social norm, isn't it? Someone dies and we have to pass on condoloences, even if we didn't really know the person or if we struggle to find the right words for it.

Still, sorry about your grandad.

I've never really had someone close to me die... so I'm not really sure.

Author:	Azrael [ Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Death (the event)
My grandad passed away this monday (in his sleep and in peace), and it got me thinking. at the funeral i didn't shed a single tear, and in fact was probably "over it" before i even got there. on the other hand some people couldn't stop crying or anything. by the time i was 16 i had already buried both my parents, so maybe that's made me a "colder" person, but i don't know. is this normal, this attitude that just makes me want to move on rather than linger on with such a sad moment? or is it because i'm not religious and for me it's over the moment people die and for others it's like a new thing has just begun? also, it sucked to see people i barely knew offer condolences and not meaning any of it. most people at the wake were making small talk, like it's always been at every wake i've been to. why do people make themselves go through all this stuff to say goodbye to a loved one rather than just move on?

Author:	rio [ Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:27 pm ]
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How close were you to him? Maybe you'll be ok for now and suddenly feel bad much later when it sinks in. I can't be much help though I'm afraid. The only close relatives of mine to have died where before I was born or only one year old. But death is a very wierd thing. Really I've know idea how I would react in these types of situations. Condolences, anyway, hoipe you feel ok.

Author:	Radagast [ Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:29 pm ]
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People just handle things differently. Some people can't move on quickly from things like this, others can. Some people love wallowing in misery. I'll bet a lot of the people offering you condolensces walked away thinking how empty it sounded. Its just a social norm, isn't it? Someone dies and we have to pass on condoloences, even if we didn't really know the person or if we struggle to find the right words for it. Still, sorry about your grandad.

Author:	Azrael [ Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:59 pm ]
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i wasn't that close to him... i mean, i liked him, he was cool and all (and he was family), but i wasn't really close to him. maybe if i was married and my wife died i'd be devastated, but at this point i can't really ponder that.

Author:	Cú Chulainn [ Tue Sep 12, 2006 7:04 pm ]
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I never really got sad funerals. I never cried, and always felt that these people were needlessly depressing themselves with all the silence and the chanting and stuff.

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Author:	Legacy Of The Night [ Tue Sep 12, 2006 10:21 pm ]
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I think it's just the fact that you'll never be able to see or be with that person again. That's what always gets me. =(

Author:	Tlaloc [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 1:50 am ]
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The only funeral I ever went to was my grandmother's. I didn't cry, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to look at the coffin for too long. Before the funeral I was making jokes with my dad on how the body should be disposed of useing a trebuchet (it was my mum's mum who died). Weird.

Author:	ElTipo [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 4:28 am ]
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Death doesn't bring any tears to my eyes. Neither is it related to not being affiliated with a religion. Being christian, death should not be mourned. It's part of natural human life, and the people that cry at funerals linger too closely to the indulgences of life, be it their attachment to the person, or fear of death.

Author:	noodles [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 4:38 am ]
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My grandpa didn't have a funeral, but when we were scattering his ashes on a beach near where he lived I skipped stones with my dad and my cousin.

Author:	Goat [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:12 am ]
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It's hard. You'd think an atheist would take death harder than a Believer, but it's not always like that. It's really not a subject you can discuss easily, as each case is different.

Author:	Rhys [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 12:19 pm ]
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I am not going to be buried in a coffin. My demand in my will will be that i am thrown into the hole naked at midnight when no onew around. Then i want a tree to be planted on me so my nutrients can help it grow. Coffins are killing the environment people! Azrael, if you dont mind my asking, what hapenned to your parents? If my grandfather died i would prolly not cry and be annoyed by all the posers at the wake just like you. But did you feel sad having to say goodbye to your parents? The only thing that would make me cry is if my Mum, Dad or sister died.

Author:	Azrael [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 1:17 pm ]
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my mum died when i was 7 (suffocated in a fire), and then my dad got cancer (stomach) when i was 15. when i was 7 i guess i didn't really grasp what was happening, even though i was prety close to her, as for my dad i never got along with him but i cried when he died, thinking about how much of an asshole i had been to him, taking him for granted and all (so there's a lesson for every young'un who thinks he hates his family). i got over it in a day or two, but it sucked on that day. as for my sister, i'd wouldn't just shrug it off, but i'd rather not think about that now. and old people... when they die i just think it's for the best. when someone can barely move around unnassisted and can't remember what they had for lunch, i think it's almost selfish to want someone back rather than to let them finally rest.

Author:	Rhys [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 2:06 pm ]
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Azrael wrote: my mum died when i was 7 (suffocated in a fire), and then my dad got cancer (stomach) when i was 15. when i was 7 i guess i didn't really grasp what was happening, even though i was prety close to her, as for my dad i never got along with him but i cried when he died, thinking about how much of an asshole i had been to him, taking him for granted and all (so there's a lesson for every young'un who thinks he hates his family). i got over it in a day or two, but it sucked on that day. as for my sister, i'd wouldn't just shrug it off, but i'd rather not think about that now. and old people... when they die i just think it's for the best. when someone can barely move around unnassisted and can't remember what they had for lunch, i think it's almost selfish to want someone back rather than to let them finally rest. Man, that would have been so harsh. I dunno dude, you do come off as a little cold about the whole thing, but then again at 7 you wouldnt fully understand like you said. Maybe you just have a tolerance to the whole thing.

Author:	Misha [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 2:38 pm ]
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I have a huge problem with funerals, it get me mellow and I really have problems surpressing my urge to burst out in laughter. I'd rather cry but it just doesn't happen...

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Author:	Radagast [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 2:47 pm ]
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Catholic funerals are horrible. I've been to only one for a relative I didn't really know but I felt like crying because of the state my grandpa was in. They really overdo it with the sombre.

Author:	noodles [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 7:36 pm ]
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Misha wrote: I have a huge problem with funerals, it get me mellow and I really have problems surpressing my urge to burst out in laughter. I'd rather cry but it just doesn't happen... My ex burst out laughing at her aunt's funeral, then her dad beat her for it... then she attempted suicide. So it's a bad idea to do that.

Author:	Legacy Of The Night [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 8:18 pm ]
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Am I the only one who takes it hard when someone close to me dies? o___o

Author:	noodles [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 8:24 pm ]
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I've never really had someone close to me die... so I'm not really sure.

Author:	Seinfeld26 [ Thu Sep 14, 2006 1:25 pm ]
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Radagast wrote: People just handle things differently. Some people can't move on quickly from things like this, others can. Some people love wallowing in misery. I'll bet a lot of the people offering you condolensces walked away thinking how empty it sounded. Its just a social norm, isn't it? Someone dies and we have to pass on condoloences, even if we didn't really know the person or if we struggle to find the right words for it. Still, sorry about your grandad. Absolutely right. I'd say on average it takes close to a week to move on. But a lot of it does depend on both the person who's loved one died and the actual person that died. Some people never fully get over a death and move on to become mass murderers or whatever. Similarly, some get over it after just three days. Either way, sorry about your grandfather.

Author:	Rhys [ Thu Sep 14, 2006 1:33 pm ]
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noodles wrote: I've never really had someone close to me die... so I'm not really sure. Same