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Uwe Loll
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Author:  rio [ Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Uwe Loll
Arguably the world's worst film director, Uwe Boll, challenges his harshest critics to a boxing match.

http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/uwe-boll/u ... 180214.php

My favourite part is from the comments section:

Quote:
Schwarzer Pirat says:
Well Americans are pissed off because he is german. You don't even understand the Movies of him. You are only US-Americans... so go back to your brainless Hollywood Films and shut the .... up !


Sorry if this has been posted before, haven't seen it.
Author:  Adam [ Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: at the title of the kotaku article.

An Uwe Boll film turning out to be utter shit is about the closest to a sure thing as there is in this world. Seriously, how's this for a film legacy:

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
BloodRayne

All completely worthless video game movies. He should be shot for producing tripe like that. Incidentally, Alone in the Dark is one of the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure of seeing, complete with the most unintentionally hilarious sex scene of all time. And if that wasn't bad enough, a sequel has been announced! Seriously, what completely mindless dolt is funding this douchebag?!
Author:  The Silent Man [ Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Adam wrote:
:lol: at the title of the kotaku article.

An Uwe Boll film turning out to be utter shit is about the closest to a sure thing as there is in this world. Seriously, how's this for a film legacy:

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
BloodRayne

All completely worthless video game movies. He should be shot for producing tripe like that. Incidentally, Alone in the Dark is one of the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure of seeing, complete with the most unintentionally hilarious sex scene of all time. And if that wasn't bad enough, a sequel has been announced! Seriously, what completely mindless dolt is funding this douchebag?!


I just cant wait to see Postal and a 3 1/2 hour version of Dungeon Siege :rolleyes:

Im just so very glad he didnt get his mitts on Silent Hill and pray to jebus the rumors of him doing Metal Gear Solid are false.

House of the Dead is probably the worst movie I have ever seen, whether it was the ending of the movie given away in the opening of the movie, the cemetary scene which has at least 46,000 slow motion matrix effects and an equal amount of cameras spinning insanely fast around and around and around, the giant SEGA banner, or the fact that there is random snippets of grainy game footage throughout the movie for no reason whatsoever, it was all just so awful, Im sure there is a ton of other things wrong with it, I just dont remember much anymore.

The thing that really pisses me off is the fact that I feel I have to see these movies. I am a gaming geek, I know they suck and any movie this guy makes will probably suck, but I cant help but watch them at least once.
Author:  Eternal Idol [ Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Adam wrote:
:lol: at the title of the kotaku article.

An Uwe Boll film turning out to be utter shit is about the closest to a sure thing as there is in this world. Seriously, how's this for a film legacy:

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
BloodRayne

All completely worthless video game movies. He should be shot for producing tripe like that. Incidentally, Alone in the Dark is one of the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure of seeing, complete with the most unintentionally hilarious sex scene of all time. And if that wasn't bad enough, a sequel has been announced! Seriously, what completely mindless dolt is funding this douchebag?!


The rumour is that he is funded by the Russian Mafia. Maybe it's an effort to get back at us for all of that Cold War Ruskie bashing. And House of the Dead got a direct to DVD sequel, but I'm not brave enough to find out if Uwe made it.
Author:  MetalKnight [ Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Eternal Idol wrote:
...
And House of the Dead got a direct to DVD sequel, but I'm not brave enough to find out if Uwe made it.


He did not. :)
Author:  Adam [ Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
The Silent Man wrote:
Im just so very glad he didnt get his mitts on Silent Hill and pray to jebus the rumors of him doing Metal Gear Solid are false.


I don't think he'll do anything with Metal Gear Solid, but he is doing a movie version of Far Cry, which I'm sure will suck.

The Silent Man wrote:
The thing that really pisses me off is the fact that I feel I have to see these movies. I am a gaming geek, I know they suck and any movie this guy makes will probably suck, but I cant help but watch them at least once.


I suffer from the same problem. I liked the game BloodRayne, and, even though I knew the movie was going to be shit, I couldn't stop myself from watching it.
Author:  noodles [ Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Adam wrote:
Seriously, what completely mindless dolt is funding this douchebag?!

Maybe it's some sort of tax evasion thing, or him sucking is earning them money like in The Producers.
Author:  Azrael [ Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
the Wikipedia article on him said that his "cinematic art" was financed by none other than THE GERMAN TAXPAYERS!

anyway, i read this before a few months ago, but don't know how it turned out.

Alone in the Dark is one of the shitties movies i've ever seen. the Nightwish video for "i wish i had an angel" also sucks because it has bits from the movie.
still, i loved how tara reid said "it's abkani!" every other minute, good unintentional comedy.
Author:  heatseeker [ Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Haha, I've heard about this before. What a fucking tard.

He actually trained for weeks to get ready for this thing...at least he didn't lose, though.
Author:  Goat [ Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Alone In The Dark was fucking awful. Whatever happened to Christian Slater?
Author:  Radagast [ Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Zad wrote:
Alone In The Dark was fucking awful. Whatever happened to Christian Slater?

He was a pretty good racialist in Bobby.

Also: Uwe gets funded by some sort of German tax loop, so he pays for his own shitfests which is why he keeps getting work - the studios just need to give him a fee and they make some money back.
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