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 Post subject: world's awesomest conspiracy theories
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:13 am 
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Ist Krieg
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http://swallowingthecamel.blogspot.com/ ... iracy.html

* The driver shot JFK. (the late William Cooper)
* The Beatles were designed and sent to the U.S. by the British Psychological Warfare Division, to undermine the morals of American teenagers. (Lyndon LaRouche)
* Christ's Crucifixion was staged. (Hugh Schonfield) Christ eloped with Mary Magdalene, and one or both of them fled to France to raise their family. (Baigent/Leigh/Lincoln)
* Christ and his disciples were a magic-mushroom cult. (Dead Sea Scrolls scholar John Allegro)
* HIV/AIDS was created in a lab.
* HIV does not cause AIDS.
* Man never landed on the moon. It's not even possible. But there is an alien base there. (see Wikipedia; for an artful and very funny parody of how these theories can be patched together from unrelated material, watch the mockumentary Dark Side of the Moon)
* The Zapruder film is entirely fake, even though it contradicts the findings of the Warren Commission. (Jim Fetzer)
* Stephen King killed John Lennon. (Steve Lightfoot)
* WWII was staged. It never really happened. The Illuminati employed elaborate special effects, stage magic, and phony journalism to scare the world into pacifism. (Donald Holmes)
* Queen Elizabeth I was a man. The real Elizabeth died as a child.
* George H.W. Bush was really George Scherff Sr., a Nazi sent to destroy America as a teenager and adopted by Prescott Bush (Scherff was also an assistant to Nikola Tesla, and stole all Tesla's inventions after he was murdered by Otto Skorzeny and Reinhard Gehlen). Hitler was still alive in Montana in 1997, and Josef Mengele is keeping himself alive and youthful with a regimen of hormones and cannibalism. Oh, and Curious George was inspired by a young George Scherff Jr.; that's probably why Alan J. Shalleck was murdered by two men he met through a gay sex network one day before the movie premiered. (this information comes from a man named Eric Berman, who claims he heard it straight from his girlfriend's dad, Otto Skorzeny, in Florida during the late '90s. Skorzeny died in Madrid in 1975.)
* One promoter of the Scherff-Bush story adds that Josef Mengele was the real Zodiac, the Boston Strangler(s), and the anthrax letter mailer. (http://www.thebushconnection.com/)
* The 1939 War of the Worlds radio broadcoast was a psychological warfare study funded by C.D. Jackson on behalf of the Rockefeller Foundation, designed to find out how Americans would react to an enemy invasion. Funny... in a trailer for his mockumentary F is for Fake, Orson Welles did say the WoW broadcast had "secret sponsors". (Daniel Hopsicker)
* A really old one that just won't die: Jews drink the blood and eat the flesh of Gentile children during Passover. Some Catholics still revere the relics of Medieval child saints supposedly slaughtered and devoured by Jews.
* The doomed Franklin Expedition was sent to the Arctic not only to find the Northwest Passage, but to secretly investigate UFO sightings that had been reported since the 1700s. The men were captured, experimented upon, and eaten by giant aliens. (Jeffrey Blair Latta)
* Hitler and some associates escaped to the Arctic in a submarine, to live with super-advanced aliens who reside within the hollow earth. (This story originated with Edward Bulwer-Lytton's novel The Coming Race, was treated as fact by the pre-Nazi Vril Society, was bolstered by the forged "secret diary" of Admiral Byrd, and was adopted by the likes of Ernst Zundel)
* Denver International Airport was built expressly to conceal a vast underground complex, headquarters of the New World Order elite. Clues are hidden in the airport's peace-themed mural.
* Scientology: Billions of years ago the intergalactic overlord Xenu used a film to brainwash our souls ("Thetans") into believing in the world's major religions, which he invented.
* Gnosticism: The entire material world is an evil trap created by the imposter God of the Bible.
* Nation of Islam: White people were created in a lab.
* Jesuits sank the Titanic to kill some of the world's richest, most powerful Jews.
* The early Middle Ages (614-911 A.D.) never occurred. Everything that supposedly happened during those years was either a misunderstanding, an event from a different era, or an outright lie - Charlemagne, for instance, is a fictional figure. And we are actually living in the 1700s. (Herbert Illig's phantom time hypothesis)
* Shortly before he left office, Bill Clinton secretly signed into law the National Economic Security and Reformation Act (NESARA). This act would have completely restructured the U.S. government by - among other things - forgiving all personal credit card debt and mortgages, abolishing the IRS, restoring constitutional law, and somehow ensuring world peace - but the Supreme Court placed a gag order on it, and threatened death to any government official who breathed word of its existence. NESARA activists around the world are agitating to get the act announced and instituted.
* Aspartame, flouride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite.
* Atlanta child murder theories: Victims were used for CDC research into Interferon; KKK Klansmen posed as cops to wipe out young black men (d*** Gregory); white scientists needed the boys' foreskins to produce a cure for cancer and/or a youth serum. (d*** Gregory again)
* Jeffrey Dahmer was an actor hired by the Ambrosia Chocolate company to pose as a cannibal killer so no one would object to the factory being torn down and another one built with illegal tax breaks (posted by "manoftruth" on online forums devoted to Rush and Bon Jovi, along with rants on Wicca and Jews; his name might be Mark Zahn, but who knows?).

And here's a fun one: By combining two separate conspiracy theories, you can turn Hitler into Jack the Ripper!
Theory #1: Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence, faked his death to move to Germany and become Adolph Hitler.
Theory #2: Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence (and/or Freemasons acting on his behalf) was Jack the Ripper.
Hence, Prince Eddy might have killed several prostitues, faked his own death, then resurfaced in Austria as Hitler.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:18 am 
I believe all of them.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:34 am 
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Sailor Man
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Quote:
George H.W. Bush was really George Scherff Sr., a Nazi sent to destroy America as a teenager and adopted by Prescott Bush (Scherff was also an assistant to Nikola Tesla, and stole all Tesla's inventions after he was murdered by Otto Skorzeny and Reinhard Gehlen). Hitler was still alive in Montana in 1997, and Josef Mengele is keeping himself alive and youthful with a regimen of hormones and cannibalism. Oh, and Curious George was inspired by a young George Scherff Jr.; that's probably why Alan J. Shalleck was murdered by two men he met through a gay sex network one day before the movie premiered. (this information comes from a man named Eric Berman, who claims he heard it straight from his girlfriend's dad, Otto Skorzeny, in Florida during the late '90s. Skorzeny died in Madrid in 1975.)


Man, you need a corrupted mind to think something like that...


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:03 pm 
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Ist Krieg
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I'm actually hitler an I live in a scientology submarine who fled to the moon to live with the Beatles who were secretly ruling the world under the driver killed kennedy airport.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:50 pm 
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Einherjar
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Location: Seremban, Malaysia
LOL!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:04 pm 
i once dyed my hair blond. I believe i gave 15$ for that, but I don't mind vegetables in general, however, asparagus makes your semen taste downright awful - and that's a fact. So u might want to avoid those.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:24 pm 
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Karma Whore
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Aspartame, flouride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite.

Hell, that's probably true.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:13 pm 
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Einherjar
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Eternal Idol wrote:
Aspartame, flouride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite.

Hell, that's probably true.


It is true.

Quote:
* Scientology: Billions of years ago the intergalactic overlord Xenu used a film to brainwash our souls ("Thetans") into believing in the world's major religions, which he invented.


If someone happens to see Tom Cruise, ask him about this. If he refuses to talk... squirt him.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:22 pm 
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MetalReviews Staff
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Eternal Idol wrote:
Aspartame, flouride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite.

Hell, that's probably true.


I've heard it said about flouride and aspartame, for certain.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 2:46 am 
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Ist Krieg
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fluoride makes me throw up because two times in a row i swallowed it then threw up, so now its like a natural reaction to it


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 12:36 pm 
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Metal King

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Lumping gnosticism in with all that other crap is sort of strange.


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