Metal Reviews

I need money. I blow too much on music and retarded shit. So, I'm going to do a rap album, pander it to the ICP crowd and watch the cash roll in.

Thats cool.

:shock:

I meant thats cool for YOU

Are you serous or joking?

White rapper has been done before Ken.

wigger.

That is cool.

You should send it to WMHC. We've got a handful of hiphop/rap shows (more than metal...dear God, I think I'm going to be the only one this year, unless a metalhead firstie shows up) so you might get some airplay.

I'm kind of serious. Some of you have heard my (c)rap songs in the past, I've done them while bored and that shit is easy...mad easy, rather. Not only is it easy, but I think—as do many others—I wrote/recorded some badass tunes.

See, years and years I met a dude online who goes by the name McNastee (Chris McDaniel). He was doing to white boy rap thing, but he was also into metal and punk and shit like that, and he was smart so his lyrics were really good. I just got his new album and it's badass!

But I also got a sampler CD with a bunch of other turds that suck. I mean, really suck. So I figure I'll do the same thing. I've written and recorded better rap songs in 30 minutes! Eyesore KO1 Those turds. I figure I could record a rap album from scratch in a month or so. The problem would be doing shows, I could never do that because I'd feel like a tard. Maybe I could wear a mask like Slipknot? That way no one would know who I was.

So, yeah, I'm becoming a white rapper, because I gots mad skillz, yo!

My old rap group:

No, no, no, you are going about this all wrong dude. If you really want to make some money from a rap album you should make some of that assembly line crap krunk shit. It' easy, just make sure you have a shouting chorus that either A. Talks about how much bling and bitches you have B. Liken chicks shaking ass to something else that jiggles, or C. both! Make sure you follow that up with "What!" Bonus points if you can fit some sort of spanish into your song. Now you have a gauranteed club anthem primed for consumption by the masses. I wish you luck

Good idea, but I'm already on it. Here are some song titles from over the past few years:

1. Yo' Ass Like Jello
2. What? Huh? Pffft!
3. Those Crazy Hoes (a demo exists)
4. Vanilla Pickle
5. Halloweeny (a demo exists)

Then I have some serious songs:

1. Enemy (a demo exists)
2. Waiting To Die (a demo exists)
3. Guilty (a demo exists)

I'm serious, by the way. One will do silly things when bored.

Damn...I failed at becoming a white rapper.

Dont give up on the dream Ken!

Rapping to make fast cash sounds like fun. At least when you get famous, I'll finally have a chance to shout "Hey I know this guy!" And the biatches will think I know you personally and get laid without much effort. I support you, man!!

I will go even further, i will dress up like him and pretend to be him. I will be soooo popular.

I can't do that. I'm not white.