Metal Reviews

Mushroomhead/Mudvayne - I'm really going to avoid saying too much about them simply because as much as they both deny it, they're built only for the Slipknot market. Anyone who jumps on the bandwagon just simply repulses me. I borrowed one of the (dick)'head's album and actually bought a Mudvayne and I can't distinguish between the two. If you, most likely, hate Slipknot, then you'll loathe these pair.

I like AFI and Marylin Manson's early stuff shocking huh? lol

The "dark ages of metal" was brought forth by ridiculous nonsense like that contained in this thread.

Chimaira remind me of Korn, for some bizarre reason

Yeah actually the dark ages of Metal was brought on by MTV and big labels signing ever shit hair band in exsistance from about 86 to 89, calling it Heavy Metal and forever destroying the casual persons image of what a Metal Band is and basically turning the whole scene into a parody of itself. The 90's were mild and even bands like Korn had some talent as opposed to their popular counterparts in the late 80's. Thankfully Metal always has a strong underground and the true fans know where to find it.

The thing about the "hair" days that is the worst is there was some cool and good metal bands mixed in their but they are forever associated with total shit like the Bullet Boys and Dangerous Toys.

True, but I think it's always been like that. Labels will shit out a million copycats a day to make a buck. You've just gotta dig a little deeper to find the good stuff.

And you gotta admit, "Smooth Up In Ya" is a badass tune!

I just had a flashback!

It sounds like an ode to prison rape.

Good ode.

Dude that song is gayer then Richard Simmons.

So is Halford, but he's still the Metal God

Do you want it sleazy?
I can make it easy
Come running to me
If you like it real
We can make a deal
Lie, deceive, treachery


Man I love that first BulletBoys album. That album rocks from start to finish. Hard As a Rock, Smooth Up in Ya, F#9, Owed to Joe,
For the Love of Money, Shoot the Preacher Down, it's one great song after the other. Too bad they became ultra-shit afterwards though.

They can't get their fix
Cause of the debt they
Owe to Joe.

*shivers* You guys are scaring me.....lol

So what? That's a badass gay tune!

What ever gets you off man.

Remember that the bands that I've mentioned are my own opinion and I selected them because I think they are more intrested in ripping people off than quality of music. Whilst adding to this list I've tried to mention bands who are still in existence and have the potential to offend people again. I'm going to add one more post slagging off a band that goes against the 'aren't, never were and never will be' rule I opened with. This band, thankfully, are no longer around but epitomizes what went wrong with metal in the 1990s.

They are...

Coal Chamber - In recent interviews, Dez Farara admits that he's finally getting over the Coal Chamber days with his new band Devildriver. The beard tattooed guy never stood a chance with his first band as he was a part of a look and noise that just reeked of record label marketing strategy.
Possibly the closest thing to a 'Pop' Metal band there's ever been, Coal Chamber played with down-tuned guitars, soulless singy/screamy vocals, Nu-Metal posturing and looked like the best mates of Marilyn Manson. Repetitive, uninspired choruses mixed with some of the most stupid verses ever written (Big Truck anyone?) formed virtually all of their music.
This band, simply put, started off terrible, amazingly somehow got worse and ended it all with a greatest hits! In my opinion, the worst 'Metal' Band of all time.

Mentalmark, I realize this is your opinion, but you are one ignorant dude. I mean, you could at least come to your opinion by utilizing fact. Instead you're just making things up, then voicing your opinion. It's quite sad, to be honest.

I don't see where he made anything up. I never gave Coal Chamber a long enough listen to even form an opinion anyway, but it seems to me he's giving his view on the band based on what he hears when he listens to them and on information from an interview he read. Besides, an opinion does not need to come from fact. If you listen to something and think it's the worst "metal" ever, that's all you need. That's why it's an opinion. Being ignorant would be to judge them without listening to them. Based on his description, he obviously gave tham a listen, so how can he be ignorant by giving his opinion on it?

Because you're not allowed to say you don't like something in Eyesore's presence.

Man complaining about bands that were on the front of Metal Hammer in 2002 is not interesting anymore.

I mean, Limp Bizkit created the "dark times of metal"? As if metal is so puny that it could be brought down from within by those goons?