Metal Reviews

Exactly. The nature of my job entails that you have a professional appearance. So I couldn't grow my hair long, get tattoos, etc. even if I wanted to.

Most of the members of Anthrax = short hair

Kerry King = bald (actually, he shaved his hair completely off BECAUSE he was going bald)

Dave Lombardo = Short Hair, I believe

Phil Anselmo = Short Hair in the early/mid-90s

Ozzy Osbourne = Short hair in the late-80's

PATCHES!!!!!!

I think your ordinary faded jeans jacket with patches of your favourite bands is the best metal decoration ever!!! Yeah you'll look like a guy who's still living in 1986, but who cares!!! Obviously it's just gonna be a gig ornament for me. I wouldn't wear it for no reason.

No offence meant to any bullet belters and spiker here on MR. I'm fine with those two if you're in a band, just as an image. But when I think about an ordinary person wearing it, this comes to my mind: A narrow minded dumb fuck, turning at every corner goin "ARRGGGHHH!!! I'M METAL!!! FUCK OFF!!!".

I have a denim patch jacket. I walk around town in it all day long, even when it's hot outside, and I walk up to random people on the street corner and scream THRASH TIL DEATH at them.

bullet belts are awesome i'd wear mine all the time if i didnt feel like such a twat wearing a belt that's not actually holding my pants up as an every day thing

Hey, nobody ever said you couldn't mention the dumb comments metal fans make about metal music.

Anyway, in my eight years as a metal fan, I've also seen a lot of dumb pro/anti-Metallica comments. Here are a few (many of which you all have probably also heard):

"Metallica didn't sell out. Their fans did." - Clearly, whoever said this doesn't even know what selling out means. I'll give him some credit and suggest that may be he meant "Metallica changed, but their fans didn't." But it still doesn't cloud how ridiculous this comment sounds.

"If Cliff was still alive, Metallica would've never changed the way they did." - What proof do you have of this? Actually, Cliff was the "pop music" fan of the group, so right there that belief is contradicted. It sounds to me like the people who say this are just trying to convince themselves that Cliff's death is the reason why Metallica changed their style in the 90's. Which I seriously doubt.

"Metallica sucks because James Hetfield stopped drinking." - Need I say more?

"Dude, Metallica is phat!" - Yeah, well I wouldn't worry too much. A little weight gain is normal for men their age.

"Metallica sux cuz they are old!" - Ummm, since when did age have anything to do with musical talent? It always annoys me when people assume that to be a rock star you must be no older than 29. Which is simply untrue. After all, weren't the people who wrote and sang The Maccarina in their 40's at the time?

Bullet belts have become mainstream fashion over here, so just ordinary bullets aren't metal anymore. You have to have like, armour piercing rounds on it to be metal these days.

teh dumbest thing i've heard a metallica fan say is:

Kirk Hammet is the worlds greatest guitarist 4evah and evah and evah

yeah... i remember when i went to a concert with them and he started playing his guitar solo and it sounded like fucking crap, random notes and random hand movements touching the strings for what seemed like an internity - time simply slowed down, as it usual does when bad shit happens to you. Of course, ppl started to go "wwOOOOOOOOhoOOOOOOOOO!"... i did too on the inside when he stopped. You have to search for a long period of time to find anything worse than that. Crappy boring and annoying shit. He could practically continue his carreer by playing with his ass alone (as he did for a short while during Live Shit) and nobody would notice.



Uh!!! the dumbest comment i have ever heard was from one of my old schoolmates.

Old Schoolmates: " All metal bands out there are influenced by Metallica"

meaning.. we could all kiss goodbye to our precious metal if it wasn't for Metallica.. yes.. wow.. thanks alot Metallica!

He also said: " Growling?! that is only used in Death metal!" which offended me alot since i though my nu-metal bands was growling too




i also find it extremely dumb when black metal kids go:

" boohoo... Dead was the greatest black metal vocallist ever! Black metal died with him in 1988 or what ever. boo-fucking-hoo!"

or when they go:

" boohoo... Euronymous was our time best musician! But then that idiot, Varg, killed him"

or when they go:

" Mayhem invented black metal and has had a huge influence on it. I know, cuz i went to Metal-archives and found out that they formed in 84 and released their first demo in 86"

what?!.. their early shitty garage demos hardly influenced anything.

Following on from that, the people who think that Varg holds the key to the gate (ho ho) of the mysteries of the universe are very annoying. Yes, Burzum is a good band, but it doesn't make Varg the messiah, ffs.

true... i was talking to a guy on msn for a short while a long time ago, and then he asked me if i wanted to go with him to Norway to greed Varg welcome when he got out of prison, to which i declined of course. Rather stupid, i don't believe in idolworship of any kind, and i truely don't think Varg are interested in teenagers greeding him when he gets out, anyway. I would truely hate that myself. Especielly if i was Varg and hated black metallers


okay okay.. i worship Quorthon and Valfar... in true Cubain style .. no, not like that.

Haven't a lot of people sworn to kill Varg when he gets out? He'll probably get police protection or something.

yeah.. there's probably a "few" Euro-fan-kids who don't have anything better to do than avenging something they were never a part of to begin with.

Daniel Heiman and Ralf Scheepers are both bald