Metal Reviews

Find Me Guilty - Great movie. Vin Diesel actually pwns, which surprised me.

Right At Your Door - Should've been a play, it just failed to keep the tension up and I could see a twist of some sort coming miles off. And when it arrived, it didn't really make sense. So, poor film all in all.

I would not actually call it pwning, but he does remarkably good. But if you remember the scene where he is in the judges office and he tells Vin that his father has passed away? Watch it again and tell me if Diesel pwns

Notes on a Scandal: I have now seen Judi Dench in the bath and Cate Blanchett wiping her arse. Apart from the traumas, a good film! Quite a twisty plot that keeps you interested, without the need for brutal violence or flesh eating!

I thought it was good too. Judi Dench was brilliant.

Pix plz

+1

I saw Lay Vengence last night. Nutty as a fruitcake in the first half hour, but settled down into a cracking film, despite not finishing straight after the 'school' scene. I'm still wishing to see oldboy and 'mr vengence', but will definitely look out for them harder from your comment and 'Lady'.

And what you are writing makes me want to see Lady Vengeance even more!
It's so refreshing to see a non-american film of this caliber. I'm probably a violence-junkie when it comes to films... and games, and music, so it fits my taste great.

Yeah, it's a good 'en ok! I would recommend 'Audition', another Korean film. It does start slowly but it is one to keep at as it has one of the best 'torture' scenes around at the end - proper gnarly! Although I watch a fair amount of US films, I've found that I'm far more of a fan of world cinema these days. I saw Underworld 2 the other night and it was appalling in my eyes - no soul. Not a patch on Nightwatch, which just gets better with each viewing

Smokin' Aces.

We need a 'wanking' emoticon.
Ok, I'm a director and I want to make a super-hip heist movie like Lock Stock etc. Where's my checklist:

Characters (hitmen, targets, FBI, drug dealers) straight from the comic book of cliches (I'm an ingognito hitman/woman. I will sit in a crowded cafe dressed as a kewl comic book hitman/woman while openly discussing my trade): check.

When introducing said characters, pause them as their names swoosh up on screen. Unpause when names swoosh off screen: check.

Lots of fast jive talk interspersed with groove-driven music: check.

Nonsensical and irrelevant sequences thrown in simply to be kewl: check.

Niggas who say "nigga" a lot: check.

Buckets of blood and totally over the top violence (in alternating slo-mo and fast-mo): check.

An hour into the film and still introducing cliche characters who serve little to no purpose to the story other than to all meet at some point near the end in aformentioned violence orgy: check.

The half-baked and nonsensical plot twist at the end: check.

Tough talk in a smokey snooker hall: check.

Black person who spouts of self righteous motivational/spiritual bullshit - even though said black person is a murderer: check.

Tard audience lapping this rehashed shit up like it's the Virgin Mary's pussy: check.

Mansize lol.

I saw Babel last night. Not bad. If they'd cut out that whole stupid Mexico story and given a bit more time to the other three it'd have been a fucksight better.

Beautiful review! I hated that movie too, but thank goodness you reviewed it.

Will check it out.
Underworld is ok, I like the dark settings and some of the interiors. And well... Beckinsale is hot, can't help it. Ok actress as well. To be honest it's one of the better vampiremovies when all comes around, which says alot about the genre.
I've seen Nightwatch and Daywatch. It was hard to follow every part of the story, but it worked out pretty good.

While talking about foreign films, one must bring up Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hero and House of Flying Daggers. All extremely good.

I find generally foreign films are better than American ones just because Hollywood has cheesy formulas that are in even a lot of the better movies.

Anyways Lady Vengeance was awesome, I want to see the other movies in that trilogy now.

i just watched american graffiti and i feel like an ass-clown for making it this far in life without watchign a movie that is that good and classic.

i also just rented 2001: a space odesey.

me and my friends started watchign it and they were all drunk and started screamign about how the opening was pissing them when there was all the music building up, and then there was no climax, just the blue screen with the MGM logo.



they then ripped it out to put in a national lampoon movie

Bless The Child - Absolutely awful shit. Kim Basinger is the world's worst fucking actress. At no point did I believe she actually gave a shit about what happened to the holy fucking I-can-do-miracles child. It gets more watchable when Christina Ricci turns up as the sexiest junkie you'll never see, but she gets her head cut off by some eeevvvvviiiillll nu-metal kids about five minutes after. So it's all downhill from there, apart from a cameo from Ian Holm, in a wheelchair, pretending to be Irish. Why does no-one like Satanists anyway?

The Devil Wears Prada - How the fuck someone that looks like Anne Hathaway ever got anywhere in Hollywood, I'll never know. Those eyes! And that mouth! She's like something off of The Hills Have Eyes! Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci (why does he only play gays now?) were great as ever. And who the hell is this Emily Blunt girl?

Currently watching Richard Dawkin's documentary "The Root of all Evil".

Classic stuff. Shot of civillians peacefully walking around at Lourdes singing hymns and carrying candles.

Voiceover: "It looks lovely, but isn't this the first step towards young men blowing themselves up on trains?"

Probably not, Richard.

I suppose that's the thing. I personally think underworld is a good concept, but too much of a CGI mess (Van Helsin anyone?) which kinda make the set peices a little bit of a cartoon than a 'horror' feel. And agreed, I would do Kate B in a blink of an eye ( and probably last just as long!), and she is ultra fine in the second movie!

As for the Asian epics, all quality Movies. But under no circumstances view one called 'White Dragon'. It's a bit like Romeo and Juliet (the Leo Di Caprio one), where it's a chinese 'epic' with modern day references, but done awfully.

And YOU'VE SEEN DAYWATCH!!! Jealous! I can't wait for that at the cinema this summer!! Must see film of the year for me!

GAY

NOT GAY

Work on that.



Major LAWL