Metal Reviews

Rob Zombie's Halloween wankathon

What a bad bad bad bad film.

In fact, the film was even worse than finding out there is going to be a Saw IV.

Yeah, it really does just plain suck. He practically stripped every single thing that made Micheal Myers cool from the Carpenter movies and just made him some whiny, behemoth of an assbag.

Some weird low-budget British thriller called Straightheads. How many more revenge flicks is Danny Dyer going to be in?

The good, the bad & the ugly

thought i hadn't seen the whole movie, but apparently i did. It's the best spaghetti western i have seen - in fact the coolest western i have ever seen... fuck John Wayne!

300 - Apart from one or two serious moments, and the Queen's dress, this was a dull, dull film. Never been that much of an action junkie, but this was dreadful, the blood was completely unrealistic. Yes, I know it's based on a damn comic. And what on bloody earth was that with the eight-foot tall BDSM Xerxes, and the ogres and zombies? And for those of you who have read Matt Cale's review of it, he has a point...

Slow Burn - Rather interesting and complex thriller. LL Cool J proves to be a decent actor, and Chiwetel Ejifor was in it, and he's great.

Predator - Awsome. "I ain't got time to bleed"

End Of Days - It was Ok, fairly dull though.

Smokin' Aces - Great, I loved it! The Tremor Brothers kicked ass.

Fantastic 4 : Rise Of The Silver Surfer

Cool, if you like comic books and tons of special effects. I thought that the Silver Surfer is the best comic book character (besides Spiderman) brought to the big screen. They just did a great job on him.

I watched DOOM today. I had it recorded on my DVR for a few weeks and I finally had the opportunity to watch it. It wasn't bad by any stretch but it was still nothing that was fantastic either. The 5 minutes of the "first person shooter" angle was really cool toward the end and the monsters were damn gross.

Gone in 60 Seconds (70s version) - Fuck yeah! Very little backstory and ends with 45 minutes of action bliss. I'm not surprised the remake didn't even try to redo the car chase scene in this movie.

The Ballad Of Jack And Rose - Good film. Daniel Day Lewis is excellent, as is wossname the daughter. He always reminds me of a Tom Cruise who can actually act, for some reason...

The Ice Storm - Heavy, depressing, dark, yet somehow makes me glad to be alive. Tobey Maguire is one of the worst actors I've ever seen, though. Fuck off and play Spiderman, you empty-eyed pillock.

I saw an add for that that came on at work and was intrigued, I must check it out now.

Severance - entertaining horror/comedy. The comedy side was more manifested in the movie not taking itself seriously since there aren't really any laugh out loud moments. fun stuff either way.

I didn't really dig Severance at all. Nice try, but... IMO horror-comedy is in severe danger as a genre, partly because after Braindead (Dead Alive) and Evil Dead II there's literally nothing left to say on the matter that hasn't already been done much, much better. Even Shaun of the Dead was worthwhile but couldn't even get close to those two. In fact, I've seen a lot of films from that genre and they all just fall flat on their face.

I watched John Carpentar's "Vampires" last night after the Cowboys/Bills game. Yet, another movie I recorded with the DVR...what an incredible suckfest!! No pun intended. That has to be one of the most ridiculous vampire films ever.

BIG CHEESE!!


zzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzz

Rodger Dodger - Fun Amerindie film about a guy taking his nephew (Jesse wotsit from The Squid and The Whale) out on the town to meet ladies. Well-acted, funny, recommended.

Dawn Of The Dead (2004) - 8/10
Resident Evil - 5/10

and still to watch (borrowed a bunch of my friend)
Resident Evil: Apocolypse
28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later


mmmm...zombies.

yeah that movie was cool.


Knocked Up - i'm liking this whole "romantic comedy that is actually funny" thing this movie's got going on.

Fear and Loathing IN Las Vegas
Holy shit!

I just rented the asian horror film called "The Host". It's received great reviews so after we get a few things done this afternoon I'm watching it tonight...after "The Bionic Woman". She's awesome.

Hehe, that's also what I thought the first time I watched this movie. I started watching it without knowing what it is, just because it happened to be in a pack of DVDs I got from a friend. During the movie I felt like I was the one taking the drugs! Awesome movie !