Metal Reviews

In the best way possible.

Recent movies:

I Am Legend: 2.5 / 4

Sweeney Todd: 4 / 4

No Country For Old Men: 4 / 4

AVP2: 1.5 / 4

Atonement: 4 / 4

National Treasure: Book of Secrets: 1 / 4


Waiting on . . .
There Will Be Blood
(and I still need to see Juno)

Seraphim Falls - Not a great film, but Liam Neeson and (surprise!) Pierce Brosnan were pretty good, although the latter needs to find an accent coach who's any good.

Point Break

Fucking hell, Swayze's hair!

the final fantasy move?

Nope, cheesy action movie with Keanu Reeves investigating a gang of bank-robbing surfers. And has Dr Cox from Scrubs taking part in the worst comeback in movie history.

Dr Cox: You're a real blue flame special, aren't you, son? Young, dumb and full of come, I know. What I don't know is how you got assigned here. Guess we must just have ourselves an asshole shortage, huh?

Keanu: [after a 30 second pause] Not so far...

Imagine Me And You - cute british romantic comedy dealie about a bride who dykes out after her wedding. lots of witty dialogue ^^

The Bourne Ultimatum - one of the better action movies I've seen. only thing i didnt like was how the camera angle jumped so much you couldnt tell wtf was going on in a few of the action scenes

That's such a dreadful film. Funny, but dreadful.

Imagine You and Me was pretty bad, too.

But when Hot Fuzz made fun of it and glamourized it, it became hilarious and awesome.

Superbad again. Still lolz all over. Best comedy of the year.

Once - Good romance chick flick. I was entertained for some of the movie, but for the most part it was lame. Women will love it though. It did have some good qualities.

The Lower Depths (Donzoko)

God, Akira Kurosawa is so awesome.

I watched that one a few days ago. Some parts were just embarrassing but most of it was pretty frigging hilarious

"Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law!"

I'd say the cops are the funniest part of that movie.

I saw it for the second time the other day too, still hilarious...one of the funniest movies ever. If you can, watch the special features...they're pretty damn funny. They messed up like 50 times at the part where the cop's like "I'm sorry I blocked your cock".

Watched AvP2, I really enjoyed it. Maybe it's because I'm a predator fanboy and compared everything to AvP1.

Also watched Eastern Promises. Fantastic movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I went and viewed this heaping steaming pile of shite last night with my son!! God I want my $20.00 back!! They recycled every damn idea, camera angle, scene, and dialogue from the past 4 Alien films, 2 Predator films, and AVP. This series has supersonically become as farcical as Jason X and Freddie 22 for God's sake. They even had the woman (who looked like a dead on Ripley impersonator ) and her lilttle girl running from th Aliens ala the film Aliens, when Ripley and Newt were avoiding certain death 20 years ago. I mean they even had a main character say..." Get To da' Chopper". Give me a break. Plus, the damn movie was entirely too dark to see the creatures well. When are they ever going to install light bulbs in these films? I could see Hellboy and his enemies clear as day in the trailer before AVPR.

The scenes became immensely more gross as facehuggers were no longer necessary with the new and improved Alien/Predator model alien. Now they can walk into a baby ward of a hospital, detect that the women are pregnant, stick that alien tongue thing down their throat and create a litter of little aliens. Yes, the pregnant women's stomachs exploded to reveal multiple aliens screaming from the bloody womb. Of course there was no revelation as to how these new aliens possess this new ability. They just did it. Whatever.

Cool stuff they should have focused on. You get a very brief view of the Predator on his home planet. Maybe about 2 minutes of footage. Explore that not exploding wombs in the back woods of Colorado. The Predator had some cool new gadgets that were incredibly lethal and he carried a vial of potent blue ooze that dissolved anything it was poured on. Cool stuff.

Overall this movie isn't even worth renting in my opinion. Save your cash and watch AVP again. That was a much better film. If I could give this one a negative score I would.

Really? I hated AvP1 A LOT. I hated the fact that 3 predators got taken out by one alien, and the fact that the predator teamed up with the human. AvP2 was a movie I could just turn my mind off and watch things get owned hard.

Kill Bill (both parts). Not as good as Pulp Fiction.

Seriously one of the funniest movies ever. The cops are the highlight definitely. Cock-block is now my favourite word.

A few I've seen recently:

Superbad - 4.5 out of 5 (Hilarious! A classic comedy, for real.)

I Am Legend - 3 out of 5 (Not enough mystery; ended too abruptly.)

Halloween (Remake) - 3.5 out of 5 (Very good. Would have done better if it weren't a remake. The opening scene had some horrible acting, though. Terrible. Luckily that was the only time.)

Cube Zero - 2 out of 5 (Doesn't even touch the original.)

V for Vendetta - 3.5 out of 5 (Solid flick. Unbelievable, but good fun.)

The Man Who Cried - 3 out of 5 (Good stuff. Johnny Depp, Cate Blanchett, Christina Ricci and her pet forehead, Jews, Limeys, Germans. A good flick.)