Metal Reviews

Whoa man. Whoa. Rocky IV was awesome. It was crap, but it was awesome crap. Rocky gets super pissed, trains in Siberia, grows a beard, and single-handedly takes down communism. And it had a robot. And sure Dolph loses, but he has some of the best lines in the movie.

In Bruges - go see this brilliant film

Street Kings - don't go see this cliched, formulaic cop film starring Keanu "plank of wood" Reeves.

Seriously. Anybody who doesn't like Rocky IV is clearly a communist who wants nothing more than to kill hard working Americans like Apollo Creed.

Ichi the Killer...

Alternated between some pretty funny dark humor, comedic gore, intense torture scenes I didn't quite appreciate and girls getting raped/beaten up fairly frequently. I don't think I appreciated that either. I'm able to laugh at the guy who gets the nail through the foot and then walks in the "cool guys walking down a street" scene with a piece of wood attached to his foot, or the random guy with furry ears on his head. I have a bit more trouble laughing at a close-up of a girl getting her nipples cut off. Granted, I don't think I'm supposed to, but there was a shift in tones going throughout the whole movie, and I didn't know when it was going to jump back into non-humorous excessive violence (humorous excessive violence exists, see Dead Alive or the Story of Ricky as examples). I don't know, maybe it's just me.

No Country For Old Men - Orgasmitastic

Either way, it's a shit film.

Saw Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. There were some funny parts, but it was much weaker than the first one- I don't think I'd see it again, or recommend that you guys go see it.

There Will Be Blood--Most people I've talked to didn't like it, but I thought it was really good.

Goya's Ghosts - pretty good movie about an artist dude during the Spanish Inquisition. Natalie Portman makes me want to slap her when she cries/screams

Bardem and Starsgaard were both great, though. And there's something faintly amusing about Ms Portman playing her own toothless crone of a mother...

Glad to hear that Bruges thing was good, Craig, the trailer looked promising, but it has got Colin Farrell in it...

RW: And when did you last see your father? - Love Jim Broadbent, hate Colin Firth.

The Brave One - guh, couldnt make it past the 30 minute mark

American Gangster - what i expected it to be. pretty good

Why the fuck would you bash Rocky 4? It's fucking ace "whateva he hits, he destroyz"

It's much better than the trailer makes it look. It's still piss funny, nut it's much less of a wacky comedy than you'd think. Farrell is actually superb in it. And of course Brendan Gleeson is Brendan Gleeson.

The Nines - Meh. Nice idea, pity they got a 2nd rate cast.

Started The Dark Is Rising, and despite McShane, it's dreadful. I loved that book when I was younger...

Beowulf -- Decent. Grendel was probably the most brutal thing ever, but kinds took a dive after that. The whole CGI thing was cool at first, but wore out quick like cheap bubblegum.

Started Lemming, but was drunk so fell asleep. Charlotte Gainsboruhhgh is a hottie, though.

Charlie Wilson's War - the most fun you'll ever have watching a movie about a srs business, maybe a little too fun and easy though.

Strictly Ballroom. The senior kids are looking at it for English. I told them that there will be no exam or assignment for this unit, but because the Education department is pushing for more of a physical component in the curriculum I have entered them in the state dancing championships.

Scared the shit out of them.

Interview - 3.5/5

Southland Tales - 0.5 / 5 - a crappy remake of Donnie Darko gone completely up its director's arse.