Metal Reviews

In here you can post funny or stupid stories that happened to you or your entourage. Let's start with this one:

This one time, me and 8 other of my friends went to see a show in some other city far away from our own and we were way too drunk to drive back home, so we decided to stay there for the night, we decided on a luxurious hotel with very pricy rooms, it cost us 200$ for a little room for two persons, but we were nine (the hotel people had no idea what they were in for), we were so drunk that we started thrashing around the room and destroying the chairs, beer was spilled everywhere, and cigarette burns on the carpet, the bathroom was disgusting, we threw up in the thub and filled it with toilet paper, then we started the shower and smoked a HUGE joint all nine of us in the bathroom, in the end the smoke was so dense we could not even see each other's faces, we later all went to the club to "dance" (yeah there was even a fucking club and a casino there), but we all got kicked out because we were starting to fight with some idiots we were so stoned I can't remember the rest, except we caused over 2000$ of damage to the room, wich we had to pay for and caused us to get banned forever from that hotel, sthey told us if they see one of us around again they'd call the cops. That was one hell of a night, and one hell of a stupid thing to do. Share your stories too!

Make this the official Showmaster/Wsx26 thread? Y/N

I wish I'd have taken pictures of the room, 'twas really something to behold.

Hahhaha. Good idea.

What? I'm sure everyone here has stories to tell, I sure could write a book with my own stories, but comon people, you've lived it up too, haven't you?

When I was 15, we had a class trip to San Antonio for some convention. We stayed at a pretty nice hotel with a big outdoor pool area. There was a sauna out there that looked a bit like a big outhouse. We were sitting in there and as one of my friends was pouring water over the hot rocks, I said "Next time you should just piss on them" to which he offered me $10 if I would. Being the whore that I am, I obliged. Just let me say that I'm not sure if there's anything in this world that smells worse than the steam that came off those rocks. The whole pool area was evacuated while the hotel staff searched for the cause of the stench.

Yeah! Nice one dude! Burned piss really smells awful, that'll teach them, those goddamn hotel staff!

If these were my hotels, I'd hire immigrants to beat you guys up. Just sayin'.

Yeah, immigrants! For 20 bucks they'd do just about anything. One time I threw an almost finished cigarette on the ground and this mexican guy who was passing took it and continued his way smoking the filter.

Of course, I was too slick and was never caught, so your immigrants would have no guilty party to beat up in my case.

Alas, that feels like a long time ago. Marriage and fatherhood have turned me into a (mostly) responsible adult.

in july 2006 i rented a house with my classmates. one night there, we were all out there drinking bacardi lemon (hey it's 30 something % lol), and i was second-to-last in the drinking order. before the bottle came to me i received a phonecall and went to another room, when i came back the last guy had poured some for himself and told me i could finish the bottle, so i did.

there were 10 of us in the house, and 7 were smokers, and there was only one ashtray there - a box with some water. they poured that water and whiskey from the bong and mixed it with the bacardi in the bottle, and i unknowingly chugged that shit. in under an hour i puked my guts out and became the first person to ever "drink tobacco".

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that same week i took the most brutal shit of my life. i made a post about it in the how do you feel today thread, must find it. it's fucking awesome.

One time me and my friend stole a fire extingusher from a bus and used it on a transexual that was working in a road very near my house.

Another time we started throwing eggs and other shit to them but we were on a scooter. The bad thing was that the boss of these bitches started following us with a very fast car. Fortunately we found a very small street and he lost us after a couple of minutes. Damn, that time i shit my fucking pants.

Nice ones! That reminds me of one time when I was doing a campfire with some punks and I was drunk out of my mind (I had drunk something like 18 beers and some whiskey) everyone of them took their turn to piss in a bottle without me noticing and after that one of them came to me and said "do you want a beer?" so of course, how could I refuse? That was back when I was only 15 years old so I was quite innocent then. But just when I was about to take a swallow, I saw the guy was finding something funny, so I smelled it and went like "hey that's not beer, you bunch of fuckers!" and I poured it in the fire so that's why I know burned piss smells horrible, everyone was disgusted, and 20 minutes later I was in a coma lying on the ground, the day after can be best described as a "rude awakening". And by the way Azrael, I drank tobacco too! But I'll keep that story for later ;).

damn you. second person is still good, though.

about the massive shit, i couldn't find it. i'd write it now but i have a class in 5 minutes.

This one time, at band camp... No

But seriously... In Barcelone, we bought our ugly friend a sex doll and caught him fucking it in the shower on video.

Well, I wasn't really a part of this story, more like a victim of its consequences, but anyway, here goes:

2 years ago I was in Ireland with my class. We lived in a small hotel. In my room lived the 8 guys from my class and an italian dude. Almost everybody went out the first night, but I stayed at the hotel with 2 other guys because we were supposed to wake up at 8 the following morning.

So we went to bed and spent some time chatting and telling jokes. When we were going to sleep, 2 other guys came back, and instead of going to sleep we stayed up and kept talking. After an hour or so, the rest of the class returned to the room, and some of them were pretty damn drunk. They played music, talked loudly and one of them tried to show his ability to make sounds with his mouth that sounded like he was jerking off (quite disturbing considering that the lights were out and we couldn't see what he was doing.) Then we tried to sleep again.

An hour or so later, I woke up because one of the drunken guys was taking a piss on the floor, less than a meter away from my bed! Just a few minutes later, the italian guy (who must have came back while we were sleeping) woke up and vomited on his own pile of clothes on the floor. He tried to go to the bathroom, but on his way he pretty much sprayed half of the room with vomit.

None of us slept more than two hours that night. It's not even worth trying to sleep in a room that stinks of both vomit, piss and beer

sounds like Wsx's house

about my massive shit:
i was half-drunk when i took it. after i was done, i flushed and there was a MASSIVE fucking turd sticking out of the water that refused to go down or break. i got a stick from the fireplace and tried to break it apart, and the stick fucking snappen in half! imagine a turd with a stick sticking out of it. then i thought about putting some detergent or some shit so it would break apart or something, and instead when i flushed the whole thing just got all bubbly and was a bit more clogged. imagine a massive turd with a stick coming out and bubbles threatening to come out of the toilet!
then my friend, also drunk, suggested that i grab a dishwashing glove and break it apart with my hands, and the only reason i didn't do it was because i didn't know where to hide the glove after i was done

finally i grabbed one of those.. toilet brooms? what do you call those in english? anyway i grabbed that and finally broke it apart. i remember that was a wednesday, and that was my first shit since sunday.

I wish this was more like lowbrow.com, ie: more funny.

One of my friends once pissed on another friend's bookshelf, another guy pissed in a friend's flower pot, haha. I wonder how anyone could mistake the floor (or a bookshelf/flower pot) for a toilet, that's just fucked.

I'm not a violent person, quite the opposite I would say, but if any of my friends pissed on my bookshelf I would beat them to a pulp until my knucklebones broke.