the post count +1 thread

DevotedWalnut · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:20 am

I just read this and LOLed

Quote:

Abe Lincoln
Desired end result.You must be a male in order to perform the Abe Lincoln. One must be careful when performing the Abe Lincoln, as precision with both cock and hand as well as a good poker face are necessary to successfully pull it off. In order to perform the Abe Lincoln, you first convince your partner to shave your balls, or convince her to let you shave her hairy muff. While shaving, and after completion, you must be careful to conceal the fresh shavings in your hand. Next, you fuck her brains out as you please, covertly keeping the fresh pube clippings in your hand and keeping a straight face. When you are approaching orgasm, you must make sure to have the girl on her back. When the baby batter has been sufficiently mixed and is ready to come out, you cum around her jawline and mouth. Before she has a chance to say anything or wipe it off, you throw the fresh shavings onto her unsuspecting visage, creating an Abe Lincoln-esque scruffy beard. If you can jam a concealed top hat onto her head, all the better. This is recommended for first sexual encounters, sexual encounters at her workplace, or sexual encounters in any area where there is no nearby access to water so that the beard cannot be immediately cleaned from her face.

Metalhead_Bastard · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:42 am

DevotedWalnut wrote:

I just read this and LOLed

Quote:

Abe Lincoln
Desired end result.You must be a male in order to perform the Abe Lincoln. One must be careful when performing the Abe Lincoln, as precision with both cock and hand as well as a good poker face are necessary to successfully pull it off. In order to perform the Abe Lincoln, you first convince your partner to shave your balls, or convince her to let you shave her hairy muff. While shaving, and after completion, you must be careful to conceal the fresh shavings in your hand. Next, you fuck her brains out as you please, covertly keeping the fresh pube clippings in your hand and keeping a straight face. When you are approaching orgasm, you must make sure to have the girl on her back. When the baby batter has been sufficiently mixed and is ready to come out, you cum around her jawline and mouth. Before she has a chance to say anything or wipe it off, you throw the fresh shavings onto her unsuspecting visage, creating an Abe Lincoln-esque scruffy beard. If you can jam a concealed top hat onto her head, all the better. This is recommended for first sexual encounters, sexual encounters at her workplace, or sexual encounters in any area where there is no nearby access to water so that the beard cannot be immediately cleaned from her face.

This is fucking ruined by whoever typed it, they made something funny sound geeky as fuck.

DevotedWalnut · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 10:26 am

Metalhead_Bastard wrote:

DevotedWalnut wrote:

I just read this and LOLed

Quote:

Abe Lincoln
Desired end result.You must be a male in order to perform the Abe Lincoln. One must be careful when performing the Abe Lincoln, as precision with both cock and hand as well as a good poker face are necessary to successfully pull it off. In order to perform the Abe Lincoln, you first convince your partner to shave your balls, or convince her to let you shave her hairy muff. While shaving, and after completion, you must be careful to conceal the fresh shavings in your hand. Next, you fuck her brains out as you please, covertly keeping the fresh pube clippings in your hand and keeping a straight face. When you are approaching orgasm, you must make sure to have the girl on her back. When the baby batter has been sufficiently mixed and is ready to come out, you cum around her jawline and mouth. Before she has a chance to say anything or wipe it off, you throw the fresh shavings onto her unsuspecting visage, creating an Abe Lincoln-esque scruffy beard. If you can jam a concealed top hat onto her head, all the better. This is recommended for first sexual encounters, sexual encounters at her workplace, or sexual encounters in any area where there is no nearby access to water so that the beard cannot be immediately cleaned from her face.

This is fucking ruined by whoever typed it, they made something funny sound geeky as fuck.

Maybe so, but I've never heard of it before and I still found it funny.

Goat · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 10:28 am

It's geeky as fuck however you write it.

Skeksis · **Joined:** Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:20 am **Posts:** 573

Goat wrote:

It's geeky as fuck however you write it.

Nah, when people I know have told each other its short and simple, and not geeky in any way. Long explanations take away the funny part.

Azrael · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:01 pm

actually i think it's the long explanation that makes it funny, like it's trying to make something scientific about using shaved pubes to give your woman a fake beard, complementing it if possible with a top hat.

Seinfeld26 · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:04 pm

MetalStorm wrote:

traptunderice wrote:

So did you start a new account? Why so few posts?

I think his old account got deleted.

Yes, I had Zad delete my old account. I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that I could reclaim it.

noodles · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:58 pm

Azrael wrote:

actually i think it's the long explanation that makes it funny

Legacy Of The Night · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:00 pm

There's a wasp building a nest outside my window that I named Cassidy Sinclair. It's pretty cool watching it build its nest which has eggs in it as of now. I also like how tense it becomes when I come closer to watch it. When I bring my finger to the glass, it launches at my finger, but after it realizes it can't reach me, it goes back to it's business.

MetalStorm · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:03 pm

Legacy Of The Night wrote:

There's a wasp building a nest outside my window that I named Cassidy Sinclair. It's pretty cool watching it build its nest which has eggs in it as of now. I also like how tense it becomes when I come closer to watch it. When I bring my finger to the glass, it launches at my finger, but after it realizes it can't reach me, it goes back to it's business.

Now you're screwed. That wasp will remember who you are and when you least expect it BAM it will sting you.

Wasps hold grudges you know

cry of the banshee · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:28 pm

Fucking hell, wasp stings hurt.

One time when I was around 12 years old, me and a friend were goofing around in the Mojave desert and as I was bopping my way down a foothill, my right foot landed right on top of a nasty big Moiave Green snake's head. It was lucky for me but unlucky for the snake, because as soon as I realized what was happening I crushed it's head. It was pretty wierd watching it's body twist and sway.

Also, when I was around 9, I was poking around under my bed to retrieve something and was astounded to see the underside literally infested with Black Widows... they are pretty common in the High desert... freaked me the hell out.

Azrael · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:46 pm

i'm terrified of bugs in general, so i'm glad i don't live in the desert or jungle. or fucking Australia, jesus if it weren't for the beautiful women that place would be fucking hell on earth. jellyfish, snakes, spiders, you name it they have it.

cry of the banshee · **Posted:** Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:51 pm

Azrael wrote:

i'm terrified of bugs in general, so i'm glad i don't live in the desert or jungle. or fucking Australia, jesus if it weren't for the beautiful women that place would be fucking hell on earth. jellyfish, snakes, spiders, you name it they have it.

I knew a guy that got stung by a jellyfish, once... apparently it is some seriously painful shit.

MetalStorm · **Posted:** Mon Apr 27, 2009 1:06 am

cry of the banshee wrote:

Azrael wrote:

i'm terrified of bugs in general, so i'm glad i don't live in the desert or jungle. or fucking Australia, jesus if it weren't for the beautiful women that place would be fucking hell on earth. jellyfish, snakes, spiders, you name it they have it.

I knew a guy that got stung by a jellyfish, once... apparently it is some seriously painful shit.

According to a few people a sting from a box jelly is considered the most painful thing a human being experiences.

Skeksis · **Joined:** Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:20 am **Posts:** 573

I love how people are terrified of Australia because of the wildlife. From what I've read, and from my personal experience of living here my whole life, other countries are way scarier. I mean, we don't have fucking tarantulas or anything like that.

Lucifer's Son · **Joined:** Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:52 pm **Posts:** 2016

Kangaroos are scary! :lol:

MetalStorm · **Posted:** Mon Apr 27, 2009 1:55 am

Skeksis wrote:

I love how people are terrified of Australia because of the wildlife. From what I've read, and from my personal experience of living here my whole life, other countries are way scarier. I mean, we don't have fucking tarantulas or anything like that.

No but you guys have the Syndey funnel web which is a lot worse and meaner than a tarantula.

noodles · **Posted:** Mon Apr 27, 2009 6:16 am

Cú Chulainn · **Posted:** Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:21 am

MetalStorm wrote:

cry of the banshee wrote:

Azrael wrote:

i'm terrified of bugs in general, so i'm glad i don't live in the desert or jungle. or fucking Australia, jesus if it weren't for the beautiful women that place would be fucking hell on earth. jellyfish, snakes, spiders, you name it they have it.

I knew a guy that got stung by a jellyfish, once... apparently it is some seriously painful shit.

According to a few people a sting from a box jelly is considered the most painful thing a human being experiences.

Box jellies are deadly.

Goat · **Posted:** Mon Apr 27, 2009 9:11 am

noodles wrote:

[img]Explosions%20In%20The%20Sky%20vs%20Dream%20Theater[/img]

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