I really try not to abuse what little stature I have by reviewing albums that are pure shit on sliced bread. Since life is short and generally unpleasant, it's usually a good idea to concentrate on the nice things before we go. However, as a life long listener of metal, as an ardent supporter of Power Metal, and someone who saw the US debuts of bands such as Gamma Ray, Blind Guardian, Angra, Edguy, Nightwish, Iron Savior, Vision Divine and a slew of others, I can't stand by and watch this turd being pushed out by Twilight Force be legitimized as Power Metal by the once mighty Nuclear Blast. The same Nuclear Blast that I once trusted blindly as a youth. Whether it was death metal, power metal, or whatever metal, Nuclear Blast used to be a huge stamp of approval and a guaranteed quality release. Not anymore. Not by a long shot.

The aural shit sandwich that Twilight Force assaults us with ends up being the most generic and contrived music ever. Literally everything about this band is all about riding the most terrible cliches into the ground and all the way to the center of the earth. For starters, just look at the name. The name of the band and their logo are low rent knock offs of DragonForce. I sense no authenticity whatsoever in one single note played by any of the band members. Every note is as contrived as modern pop country. From the font of the band name, to the awful LARP-ing costumes of the band members, to the cartoon dragon, to the twelfth rate Rhapsody rip off music (they even got the Fabio Lione replacement no one cares about as their singer), this is one hundred percent false in every way. You can tell that nothing this band plays is inspired by any sense of true musical idealism. This was not music made by people and their love of metal. This dreck is music made by frustrated musicians who want to cash in and fleece newbie power metal fans who don't know any better. Each facet of this band seems put together by committee in order to hit each "power metal selling point."

I hesitate to call this crap metal. It's because this isn't. This is Disney rock. Twilight Force should be the house band for every shitty live action Disney movie remake from here on out. This is "metal" for people who would never listen to metal. This is "metal" for people who DON'T listen to Motorhead, Iron Maiden, Overkill, Mercyful Fate, or pre-Rust In Peace Megadeth. This is not music made from the depths of suffering or music made for any form of expression. Despite "pummeling" double bass and fast picked guitars, this is as heavy as a sad lonely anal bead that got lost from its' string. Keyboards are so horribly happy that the intro to Thundersword makes me actually sick to my stomach. I get bad gas and gut pains as my intestines knot themselves in revolt. Winds Of Wisdom makes me want to go dance airily in a field of tall wheat before I blow my brains out and splatter the grains with my cranial matter. However, in keeping with the theme of the song, I don't end up dying but just lie there with the back of my head blown out, but I missed the brain stem, and this song is the last thing I hear on repeat before the void. Also, every song is in a major key, usually G or C major. This means every song is basically in the same key as Hootie And The fuckin' Blowfish. THAT'S WHAT THIS BAND IS, THE HOOTIE OF METAL. Liking this band and saying you listen to metal is like trying to rock out to Matchbox 20 at an Exodus show in front of the ghost of Paul Baloff. It's not possible.

I genuinely hate this music. This is an affront to me in every way. I cannot believe that a label like Nuclear Blast releases shit like Twilight Force. It deeply saddens me because as mentioned, this is a strictly by the numbers band that have done their best to ruin Power Metal. I am embarrassed by this nonsense. If I had to use this as an example of "metal" when trying to talk to people, I simply wouldn't. I would deny metal so fast, Apostle Peter would get jealous of my pro level denying abilities. Seriously, everything about this band screams fake to me. I know that most "fans" would say, "it's all in fun bro, you're just being too serious." Believe me "bro," this isn't about "fun." This is about separating suckers like you from their money. The outright parody band Nanowar come across as more authentic than anything put out by Twilight Force. Dawn Of The Dragonstar is pure, utter, flaming dog shit in a brown paper bag. Stay away at all costs. Do not support this vile buttmud in anyway, whether it's a .000004 cent stream on Spotify or watching a video on YouTube without an ad blocker on.