Various Artists - Monsters of Metal DVD
Nuclear Blast
Music Videos

Release year: 2004
Nuclear Blast
Reviewed by Ben

The music video in today’s metal scene is hard to come by. As fans, we usually have to hope that the artists put the video on a single as a multimedia track or hope that it comes out on a dvd such as this, or even download it in low quality from their official website. This Monsters of Metal compilation has been lauded as a “supreme collection” and it in itself claims to be the “ultimate metal compilation”. No it’s not. I’ll be blunt, there are some very cool videos and bands here and there is also some of the worst utter shit that I have ever been exposed too. Either Markus Staiger has very schizophrenic tastes in music or he had the labels pushing their terrible wares down his throat.

I must also point out that the US version is highly inferior as there are around eight videos that have been changed and replaced. You want to know what they cut out on the US version? Manowar, Blind Guardian, Judas Priest, and Anthrax to name but a few. In fact, Manowar opened up this set with the killer video for Warriors of the World United in Europe, but here in the US we get Dimmu Borgir. No. Don’t take away Manowar and attempt to replace it with Dimmu Borgir. Their video for Progenies of the Great Apokalypse is simply overblown and cheesey just like the band. I can’t understand how people consider this group to be black metal, I think Matt Johnsen summed them up best when he described their music as “resembling a passing carnival.” Hammerfall is up next with Hearts on Fire, a CGI driven clip which is decent. The skeletons look too cartoony though, but I like the concept and Joacim looks pretty cool with the wicked scars on his face from the cowardly attack on him a few years back that took place just a couple of weeks before the video was filmed. Another pretty cheesey video is next for Helloween’s Just a Little Sign. More CGI effects, but I don’t give these guys too much grief because they have always had a tongue in cheek approach to their music videos and songs. This entertained me, and that’s what I asked for. Soilwork and In Flames’ videos for Rejection Role and Trigger respectively are actually pretty cool. They both are interconnected with band rivalries going on, such as Soilwork driving by In Flames with a sign that says “POSERS” on it and Anders writing “Soilwork Sux” on the wall and pissing Speed off. It looks like both bands had some fun, which I’m glad to see as the music for both songs are god awful and I don’t see it getting better in the future.

Sonata Arctica’s Wolf and Raven seems more like a real music video with a concept, great effects, and a cool performance by Tony. Very dark and atmospheric with an abandoned mansion (except for the hot chick inside) and a frantic run through the woods are just a little bit of what goes on here. Stratovarius, Primal Fear, Circle II Circle, all have live performance videos. Nothing too special but they’re nice to see on dvd instead of my computer. Lacuna Coil have an early video for Heaven’s a Lie and I’ll be damned, this has restored my faith in them. I had only heard Unleashed Memories before and hated it but this is a nice change, they have more structure and solidarity to them. The video is just studio footage of them recording the album and song but there are a bunch of clips of them screwing around and having fun. You would think that this would be boring as hell but surprisingly I find this to be one of the better videos on the compilation. Even though Destruction has replaced one of the afore mentioned videos that were on the Euro version I don’t care. Their spirited performance of Desecrators of the New Age makes up for this, this is what modern thrash should sound like, heavy, melodic, and fueled by metal intensity.

Now here we go, it’s on to the horrendous crap on here and remember this is only disc one, disc two is chock full of even more! First up, what the hell are bands like Farmer Boys, OOMPH!, Fireball Ministry, and Nothingface doing on here? These bands are just horrible modern rock / mallcore sludge. Nothingface look like System of a Down rejects and look like they’re going to cry in the video because Daddy beat them as children, and they have to tell you that the news lies and attempt to be socially conscious and rebellious but end up like every other group of failed musicians that could play three chords and read a book or two and now think they’re “the shit”, when in actuality they are just simply shit. Devin “receding hairline” Townsend shows us that he doesn’t have enough talent for one band much less five or six, or however many he’s in now with a video for Relentless, from Strapping Young Lad. Boring, and just plain dull with the only amusement factor coming from his massive bald spot (to get a good picture of what this is, he has a natural mullet). Cradle of Filth are hilarious in the clip for Her Ghost in the Fog. Every single fourteen year old goth cliché is in here, from strolling through the woods to an old man, to a gothed out fat chick singing operatic vocals. The mighty wood elfs prance around and try to look artistic and tough but end up looking like extras from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

For all intensive purposes I’m just going to break disc two down into three parts, the good, the bleh, and the suck.

The Good: Kataklysm, Children of Bodom, Masterplan, Kreator, Thunderstone, and Sinergy. What sets these videos apart from the rest are several factors, such as good film quality, either a killer performance or cool concept, and the music is listenable and not a big mess of audio mess.

The Bleh: Therion, Amorphis, Carcass, Sinister, and Hypocrisy. Ok music but their videos are bland and boring.

The Suck: Deathstars, Meshuggah, Atrocity, Dimmu Borgir, Theatre of Tragedy, Rhapsody, and Crematory. Simply put, some of the worst music and visual footage I have ever seen, I am actually offended that I in some small way helped give these people money by buying this. Rhapsody is a great band, a killer band, but this video is just the thing that gives all their haters cause to crap all over them. Mullet rock kids fighting fat guys for the mighty crystal of life while shooting lighting bolts from their hands is just embarrassing to watch. I do not recommend putting this on if you ever have a chick over at your house because she will question your sanity. And this is coming from a huge Rhapsody fan! After seeing the video that Deathstars put out they have shot up there to the top of my list of bands that I wish would be destroyed in a painful, fiery, agonizing tour bus accident. Imagine a cross between Korn, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein with a band image that takes itself from the most blatantly open homosexual bondage fetishes. Running around in white makeup with pigtails, wearing plastic pants and shirts with the nipples exposed and feminine posture, this was just horrendous. I wish nothing but label troubles, bankruptcy, and a very soon breakup for Deathstars in the future.

So, is this compilation worth your money? Maybe. If you are like me and want to have some of your favorite bands videos on an actual dvd instead of your computer then this seems like your only shot. I suggest making a DVD-R comp of the good videos on here and then shelving this multi headed beast away permanently. Here’s hoping Volume II isn’t altered like this was, and that the crap factor is significantly reduced.

Killing Songs :
Heaven's a Lie, Desecrators of the New Age, Wolf and Raven, Enlighten Me
Ben quoted no quote
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Various Artists - In Mordor Where the Shadows Are - Homage to Summoning reviewed by Andy and quoted no quote
Various Artists - A Light in the Black : A Tribute to Ronnie James Dio reviewed by Alex and quoted no quote
Various Artists - Re-Machined: A Tribute to Deep Purple's Machine Head reviewed by Stefan and quoted No Quote
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