Hardcore Superstar claims their sound is an amalgam of the first wave of sleaze rock and bay area thrash metal. Wow, talk about a combination no one wanted. In fact, if I remember correctly, thrash bands bragged about beating up glam rockers who came to their early thrash shows. That said, I’m not hearing much thrash in their sound. Honestly, all I hear are re-heated Skid Row leftovers.

At first, I figured Hardcore Superstar was just another new group of glam revivalists. God knows enough of them snuck out from under their rocks over the past few years. So imagine my surprise when I learned the band had been around for over a decade. And if my research is to be believed, the band is actually quite popular in their homeland of Sweden. They’ve had a number of hit singles, and they’ve also received a Swedish Grammy nomination. While this was interesting and all, it didn’t make Hardcore Superstar’s latest album, Beg For It, any easier to digest.

To start with, Beg For It is a loooong album. With 12 tracks and almost 50 minutes of music, the album definitely drags in spots. To me, the best hard rock albums are the ones that get in, get down to business and get out. One track that definitely should have been left off is the lengthy intro, This Worm’s For Ennio. I get what the band was attempting here, but this two minute orchestral piece just doesn’t make any sense as an intro for a mindless hard rock album. The album begins in earnest with the title track Beg For It. It is a passable song with a decent guitar lead, and it would probably feel right at home on Motley Crue’s last couple of albums. Into Debauchery is a certified stinker that I just ain’t buying. The generic rock riff and laughable lyrics had me reaching for the skip button and shaking my head. Surprisingly, Shades of Grey is actually quite engaging. The serious tone, the punchy little chorus and the catchy vocal line all work together to form an enjoyable song. At four minutes long, Nervous Breakdown kills what little momentum the previous song built. The repetitiveness of the chorus gets downright annoying. Hope For a Normal Life is the album’s first attempt at the patented hair metal ballad. This acoustic rocker is slightly catchy but long-winded, and, again, the cheese-soaked lyrics don’t help the case.

Don’t Care ‘Bout Your Bad Behaviour brings the album back up to speed, but it ends up being another forgettable hard rock tune. While Remove My Brain has a healthy dose of cowbell, the song is trite and the lyrics are downright dumb. Spit It Out brings the sinister feel back, and it excels as a result. The melodic interlude around the two and a half minute mark would even have felt at home on Too Fast For Love. But the band follows this up with Illegal Fun, another clunky rocker that should have been left on the cutting room floor. Half of Take ‘Em All Out I love, but the other half puts me to sleep. The rough, bluesy intro riff is reminiscent of some of Joe Perry’s toughest licks. But as soon as the vocals come in, the song turns into more of the same. Closer Innocent Boy is another mid-paced rocker that fails to make any real impression.

Honestly, here’s my main problem with the album…I lived through the late 80’s glam era of metal and there was nothing glamorous about it. I’ve always thought of the hair metal scene as a huge joke perpetrated on the public by money-hungry bands and villainous record labels. Sure, the bands made millions dressing up like clowns and acting like idiots…but was it worth it? For me, the worst part is, I’m still drawn to new hard rock. I still hold out hope of finding another Appetite for Destruction or Hotter Than Hell. Needless to say, Beg For It ain’t it.