Metal Reviews

Penises? I've never seen a stall wall that didn't say, "Fuck all niggers."

I'm exagerating, but seriously, it's rediculous.

By the looks of it, there are some negro penises on these walls, which essentially equates to the same thing, no?

Our toilet graffiti falls into two distinct brackets:

A] Fuck the Queen/Pope or UDA/IRA or Huns/Tims

B] I <3 boaby. Call me on [friend's mobile number]

I had to crap so hard today I kind of threw up in my mouth.

I once got a fairly serious case of crabs from a public toilet. And, well, it was a bitch to say the least.

I once got a fairly serious case of crabs from a public toilet. And, well, it was a bitch to say the least.

:shock:

Who admits this sort of thing? Hahaha.

It was in a Books-A-Million.

So...--there you go.

That's a southern chain, right?

I do live in the South, so, possibly. I'm not sure.

I think it is, I've not seen any up here. Either way, you had crabs! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :roll:

Okay, this is what I hate and it happens all the time. You go into a large public bathroom where there are say 10 or so urinals. No one is there except you, so the washroom is completely empty. You pick a random urinal and start to take a piss. Then, some dude rushes in, and for some reason that I'll never understand, decides to pick the urinal right beside yours. I mean this asshole could choose any one of them, but has has to stand right beside you.

These bastards are breaking The Code, and will suffer in the afterlife for it.

The Code goes as follows:
-you pick the furthest urinal from the nearest fellow pisser
-if you are alone in the bathroom you pick the end urinal to give potential newcomers as wide a berth as possible
-if there are no urinals with space on either side you use the cubicle or you stand and fucking wait like a gentleman
-NO conversation when urine is leaving your body or shaking is taking place

I hate finding floaters. At least have the common decency to check that your stool has flushed corretly. I also saw this sign when I was having a piss at a pub tonight;
"If you want to stop beating up your girlfriend call ########"

haha floaters....

That reminds me I had to poop so hard today my nose started bleeding.

A while back at work I got a call from a store customer. Now, we're the helpdesk/computer support for the stores and their computer systems and network. We're not a customer complaint line, but for some fucking lame reason the stores ALWAYS give out our number to irate customers even though there's a 1-800 customer complaint line.

Anyway, this chick was trying to get me to call the store and tell them to cash a money order for her. It was a money order from the store, so I asked if it was filled out and she said it was filled out to her, so I told her that they can't cash it then. They're not a bank. She got pissed and started babbling about how her mom was dying and the money was needed to help save her. Hahaha. It was a $50 money order! Anyway, next thing you know this dude gets on the phone and starts cussing me out, starts accusing me of wacking off to his woman and whatnot. It was so ridiculous. They obviously stole the money order and probably wanted to buy crack, otherwise if the money order was in her name they could have gone to the bank.

Anyway, there are two bosses in my office, one of them is a gay dude, openly gay. Whatever, he's cool, though. Anyway, I'm in the bathroom pissing like two days after the phone incident, this bathroom has just two urinals. He rolls up to the urinal next to mine and goes, "What are you doing? Wacking off?" HOLY SHIT!! I got pissed and fucking freaked out at the same time. I finished pissing too quick, put my shit away and piss dripped down my leg. Hahaha. I rolled. Fuck that.

Then he came into the office and explained the joke, sensing I was bit weirded out. Hahaha. He was referring to the phone call I'd gotten, I thought the faggot was really asking me if I was wacking off. Hahaha. So yeah, no fucking talking at the urinals!! Assholes.

Damn dude whenever someone at work asks me if I am jerking off in the bathroom I just say yes. It's way easier.

By the way if you shake more than twice, you are playing with yourself.

I once said I was "dropping the kids off at the pool" and like three days later the guy brings it up in front of a bunch of people and told them I admitted to wacking off in the bathroom. WTF?? Hahaha.

Apparently he'd never heard that saying for taking a shit. He thought "kids" referred to sperm. Hahaha.

Haha what a retard.

Its a funny saying, but anyone who actually adheres to it has a manky boaby.