Tales From The Bowl

deathkvlt · **Posted:** Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:45 pm

NEVER use public toilets. I live by that golden rule. I preffer taking a crap in the bushes than on publc toilets, hell, I preffer taking a crap in the sidewalk than in public toilets.

MetalKnight · **Posted:** Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:11 am

Eyesore wrote:

Arthur wrote:

Damn dude whenever someone at work asks me if I am jerking off in the bathroom I just say yes. It's way easier.

By the way if you shake more than twice, you are playing with yourself.

I once said I was "dropping the kids off at the pool" and like three days later the guy brings it up in front of a bunch of people and told them I admitted to wacking off in the bathroom. WTF?? Hahaha.

Apparently he'd never heard that saying for taking a shit. He thought "kids" referred to sperm. Hahaha.

Hah, I thought u were actually saying you dropped (your) (actual) kids off at the pool!! :lol:

But regarding the other meaning, I would much more associate kids with sperm than poop... makes more sense anywayz :roll:

Eyesore · **Posted:** Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:18 am

I'll take a shit anywhere. When I'm having technicanal difficulties there is not other option. When my ass says GO! I go. I have no choice. :(

Arthur · **Posted:** Fri Apr 07, 2006 8:03 am

Oh that reminds me, today I had to poop so hard that I went deaf for about 15 seconds.

Goat · **Posted:** Fri Apr 07, 2006 10:46 am

This thread needs to die.

rio · **Posted:** Fri Apr 07, 2006 10:57 am

Arthur wrote:

Oh that reminds me, today I had to poop so hard that I went deaf for about 15 seconds.

That's wierd.

Arthur · **Posted:** Sat Apr 08, 2006 3:48 am

Quote:

This thread needs to die.

FUCK YOU BITCH, THE POOP THREAD WILL LIVE ON 4-EVA!!!!11

Seriously this time, my neighbor once crapped so hard he blew out the lining of his ass hole, (its called the O-ring or some shit) and he had to go the emergency room and have surgery. So let that be a lesson to all of you.

Radagast · **Posted:** Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:49 pm

Arthur wrote:

Quote:

This thread needs to die.

FUCK YOU BITCH, THE POOP THREAD WILL LIVE ON 4-EVA!!!!11

Seriously this time, my neighbor once crapped so hard he blew out the lining of his ass hole, (its called the O-ring or some shit) and he had to go the emergency room and have surgery. So let that be a lesson to all of you.

That's just the cover story for you two having too much anal sex, isn't it?

Eyesore · **Posted:** Sat Apr 08, 2006 8:16 pm

Radagast wrote:

Arthur wrote:

Quote:

This thread needs to die.

FUCK YOU BITCH, THE POOP THREAD WILL LIVE ON 4-EVA!!!!11

Seriously this time, my neighbor once crapped so hard he blew out the lining of his ass hole, (its called the O-ring or some shit) and he had to go the emergency room and have surgery. So let that be a lesson to all of you.

That's just the cover story for you two having too much anal sex, isn't it?

There are actually pictures out there of people who have blown their asshole inside out. Hahaha. Seriously, if you have to push THAT hard you're doing something wrong.

Kathaarian · **Posted:** Sat Apr 08, 2006 9:58 pm

What do these people do, hold their shit back for a month ?

Arthur · **Posted:** Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:13 am

Quote:

That's just the cover story for you two having too much anal sex, isn't it?

Yes that's right, I destroyed another man's asshole with my cock. :roll:

Eww that reminds me, today I had to poop so hard my nose started bleeding.

EisenFaust · **Posted:** Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:05 pm

@ Arthur: You seem to have a lot of unusual toilet experiences.. When can we expect the next chapter of "Athurs Crap Chronicles"?

Eternal Idol · **Posted:** Mon Apr 10, 2006 5:35 pm

EisenFaust wrote:

@ Arthur: You seem to have a lot of unusual toilet experiences.. When can we expect the next chapter of "Athurs Crap Chronicles"?

The next time he sodomizes a neighbor with a Mag-Lite flashlight.

Arthur · **Posted:** Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:14 am

Quote:

The next time he sodomizes a neighbor with a Mag-Lite flashlight.

It's only a matter of time, my neighbors are just begging to be sodomized by flashflights.

Besides I was just making all that shit up, except for the one where I threw up, that did happen, and the neihgbor thing, and the nosebleed. Well ok maybe it's all true on second thought.

Oh that reminds me, today I had to crap so hard all the glass in the building shattered.

Radagast · **Posted:** Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:49 am

Arthur wrote:

Oh that reminds me, today I had to crap so hard all the glass in the building shattered.

Imagine what would happen if Chuck Norris had to crap that hard?

Cú Chulainn · **Posted:** Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:11 am

Radagast wrote:

Arthur wrote:

Oh that reminds me, today I had to crap so hard all the glass in the building shattered.

Imagine what would happen if Chuck Norris had to crap that hard?

Chuck Norris doen't have to crap. He just sweats it all out.

Eternal Idol · **Posted:** Thu Apr 13, 2006 2:46 pm

FrigidSymphony wrote:

Radagast wrote:

Arthur wrote:

Oh that reminds me, today I had to crap so hard all the glass in the building shattered.

Imagine what would happen if Chuck Norris had to crap that hard?

Chuck Norris doen't have to crap. He just sweats it all out.

Chuck Norris only took 10 shits in his life. The first shit created the life-giving sun. The other 9 made the planets that make up our solar system. Now bow down and worship Your Father Chuck, for the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck taketh away.

Cú Chulainn · **Posted:** Thu Apr 13, 2006 2:49 pm

Eternal Idol wrote:

FrigidSymphony wrote:

Radagast wrote:

Arthur wrote:

Oh that reminds me, today I had to crap so hard all the glass in the building shattered.

Imagine what would happen if Chuck Norris had to crap that hard?

Chuck Norris doen't have to crap. He just sweats it all out.

Chuck Norris only took 10 shits in his life. The first shit created the life-giving sun. The other 9 made the planets that make up our solar system. Now bow down and worship Your Father Chuck, for the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck taketh away.

hahahahaaaaaaa!

Arthur · **Posted:** Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:53 pm

HAVE YOU guys NOT SEEN WALKER TEXAS RANGER???? Chuck Norris needs to do the world a favor and karate chop himself in half!! Shit, we already had a thread about this. Bruce Lee totally beat his ass down.

That reminds me, today I had to crap so hard, the electricity went out for three blocks.

Anonymous · **Posted:** Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:13 pm

You know, something I have always wondered: Why do you get an erection when you're taking a crap?

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