Metal Reviews

I get phone calls from people at work all the time and the conversation goes a little something like this:

Ken: Helpdesk, this is Ken.
Clerk: My computer is acting wacky.
Ken: Wacky? What does wacky mean?
Clerk: It means it's going crazy!
Ken: What does going crazy mean?
Clerk: What?
Ken: I need to know what the problem is. Crazy and wacky could mean anything.
Clerk: What?
Ken: What's your store number?
Clerk: Um...I don't know.
Ken: Phone number?
Clerk: I don't know. I'm new here.
Ken: OK. What's the address?
Clerk: Um...I don't know. Look, I'm just a clerk. I'm not the manager!
Ken: You don't know what street you're on?
Clerk: No. I only work here twice a week.
Ken: And you don't know what street you're on? What city are you in?
Clerk: Can you fix the computer? I have a line.
Ken: No. I can't. I don't know what's wrong with it and you don't where you are.
Clerk: Whatever. Asshole.

*click*

Ken: Hello?

People are idiots.

Yes, yes they are.

Ha, I've heard some fairly heinous shit myself. Just recently I heard a girl say that she wanted to get a job as the person who puts the holes in swiss cheese. Classic :shock:

POSsESSED BY BLACK FUCKING METAL

Eyesore, i can't believe you've never snapped and started swearing uncontrollably at these idiots.

Well, as for a story of mine: When I was in 8th Grade, I was very far ahead, intellectually, of all of my peers(the truth). I was in one class with other people who were as "intellectually gifted" as I was. One day the teacher was teaching us about the origins of writing genres when she said;
Teacher:Okay, what is nonfiction?
Other students: Umm, I don't know.
Teacher: Just break it down: What does 'non' mean?
A couple students:Umm, not?
Teacher: Yes, and what is fiction?
Students: I have no idea.
Teacher: Are you joking?
Students: No, what is it?

A guy once asked me how to spell his name, I would say that would rank up there.

I put them on mute, although one time I cussed someone out and I had hit the mute button twice or not at all, anyway, I had to play like I was saying that to my co-worker, just playing around. Good thing neanderthals work at the stores and are about as crude as a pile of horseshit so they bought it.

I saw this in another forum and I duno if its true, but if it is then Anal Cunt are the biggest idiots ever. This isn't funny.

Anal Cunt's song titles are awesome!

I nominate george w bush

I mean its not like the research isnt going to get done in other places. all he's doing is putting america behind other countries and forcing his religious beliefs on others who may die because of them. OMG GOOD IDEA!!!

You're dumb.

So far there haven't been any cures or even clinical trials that have come out of working with embryonic stem cells. There have been over 70 from adult stem cells. Why not go with what works?

Because then we can't make chickencows! :(

Speaking of which, this lady came to the store I work a couple of months ago and asked for a drink. Our cups are right in front of her and it total visibility to any eye; from small, medium and large. And then she says: So are these all the same sizes?

All I could do was to explain... you know... the sizes of the cups :shock:


I made a comment on the first page, but this is just being a total dumb-fuck!

during a seminar:
instructor: move your mouse on your screen and right click on my computer, then properties. A new window should open.

client: nothing's happening.

instructor: are you pointing at the right place?

client: yeah!
instructor: wait a minute i' come and check it out.
*instructor approaches and notices the lady is literally moving the mouse ON the screen...



Ten years ago when I was about 16 I was talking to this girl from california who thought I lived in an Igloo, and that past the CAN/US border (North) everything was snow and cold... her ignorance was such a turn off I dropped the line "I gotta go my dad is tired of peddling for the electricity my computer needs so that I can talk to you" or something along those lines and left.


one last one, how can *some* americains not know where Canada is situated on a map? it's not big enough or not close enough to the states? Seriously... a canadian show went to the states and asked people right off the streets if they knew where Canada was situated and most of them did not know....INCREDIBLE!

Ha. Check out this web page: http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_calls.shtml

Now THOSE are some stupid people.

I guess the best story I can think of is from about two years ago (it was in the newspaper). This guy had his crack (as in crack-cocaine) stolen. And so he went to the cops and said, "Hey man, these guys just stole my crack." He went to jail, of course.

Speaking of crack, my best friend's sister is named Dawn. This past weekend I was over the family's house having breakfast (I've known them for 15 years). Dawn is bent over picking up her daughter's muffin and her ass crack slipped out. I looked, pointed, and I go, "Hey! Look! The crack of dawn!"

No one laughed. :shock: I found it quite funny, but these people have never gotten my sense of humor. I'm too crude or something. Pffft! A wasted zinger. That's a once in a lifetime thing, how many other Dawns will I meet that show their asscrack without knowing? Never again, more than likely. What a waste.

Because hundreds of lines are needed for stem cell research to be viable. My mom used to do research in that area; due to the legislation that's already been passed, the whole enterprise is hamstrung in this country.

I'd say it was a worthy zinger, if that means anything.