Metal Reviews

I had a game of futsal last Saturday, with my cousin and his friends. It was a good game, we booked the court for an hour. But guess what? 5 minutes into the game and I'm gasping for air, breathless and felt like fuck. I realised that I haven't played footy or work out for that matter for a long 3 months. I seriously need to do something. Now, all my joints are aching, and I still feel fatigued. Fuck.

Anyway during the game, I had a chance to score, I shot with my right foot and the ball went straight to the goalie. But he did a mistake, he didn't catch the ball, but instead he just parried it in front of him!! Being the mad bull that I am, I charged on the rebound while the goalie charged together. To idiots trying to get to the ball first. As soon as I got within shooting's reach, I just lashed a fucking powerful shot, while the goalie dived at my feet. I saw the ball smash onto the crossbar with a huge "THUNGGGGGG" and bounced into the goal. In the meantime, the goalie caught my feet, and I fucking tripped. I only knew it was a goal when the rest were cheering, but I couldnt give two fucks cos when I took the shot, I remember the goalie was diving towards me. I got scared, I nearly killed that guy, and he's only 17. Thank God he smiled and I knew he didnt mind the rough play.

I got to know from my cousin later that when I whacked the ball, the goalie's head was just below the ball. Close call.

lol, the same thing kinda happened to me a week ago, i was tired almost instantly and my friend's 40 something year-old dad outran and outlasted me. the next day i started running in the park near my home, and in a week i already felt much better (ot maybe it was all in me head ).

hm, this one time, on my first practice session with my school team, i kneed this guy VERY, VERY hard in the balls. i still can't believe he forgave me. had it been me on the receiving end, i'd kill whoever did that (as soon as i could stand up and run, that is ).

Haha, that's wicked, Azrael. I manage to forgive a guy who whacked me in the balls couple of years ago. He had his studs up very high. Geezzz...I really felt like puking.

Anyway, that day (last Saturday) was eventful. I nearly killed someone and got a serious whack on the balls. Some skinny bastard managed to lash a powerful shot and I jumped, with the ball heading upwards. So the ball didn't hit me in the dick, it went straight to the balls. OUCH!

Who hasn't received a football in his package? I think it's the worst pain you can feel

I've recieved the American equivalent; a basketball.

some fucktard was annoying me during a game a few weeks back calling himself ' a real bull, the only MAN on the field'. Well their keeper kicked to ball towards me and i took a volley on it, right in the guys nuts, i can't remember laughing as hard as i did then.

oh man, don't get me started. i used to play as keeper in high school and play in defense now, and you can imagine just how many shots to the crown jewels i took. i'm surprised my sceptre isn't broken in two.

Haha!! Well I started off in defence all the way through school, and a lot of whacks here and there. My shin bone's pretty uneven now because of the numerous times I clashed shins with the opposing player. But I prefer playing defensive midfield now. But it doesn't change anything. I still get whacked.

Anyway, do you guys know any famous footballers who are metalheads? I only know of Carles Puyol being a big fan of Death Metal. I think he's got his own trash band.

That is so fucking awesome! I know Antti Niemi likes MAster of Puppets at least, and Spencer Prior (some fucking nobody journeyman that player with Man City and Cardiff) loved nonsense like Disturbed.

I almost killed a guy the other day but the gun didn't work.

I played soccer in 5th grade. Good fun.

I got whacked in the face with the ball. I was heading back out of the room or something, and I just see this big white ball coming at me really fast and then POP it bounced right off my face. Everyone went pale and their jaws dropped, but I was laughing. It stung a little, but it didn't hurt. I thought it was hilarious.

i nearly killed myself once, probably 8 years ago now. I was the goalie and a guy from the other team shoot at goal, so i jumped to catch the ball... and "BANG" - i jumped right into the post, head first ha ha

I almost destroyed my life for Satan something like half a year ago. I walked into the sauna at my friend's place, with a beer in my hand. I slipped and the hand which held the bottle hit the ground and the bottle shattered. If my hand was in a slightly different position, my wrist would've opened. I got away with some scratches in the back of my hand.

Watch out for slippery sauna floors.

Lol that would have hurt a lot!!! I don't have much memories being a keeper, except that I always get studs in my head when I I dive at the guys feet for the ball.

During a penalty shoot out in my short football period I remember I hit the keeper really hard with the ball in is stomach, the next guy hit him in the nuts haha. I think we won that penalty series

i remember reading that the czech national team plays Stratovarius in the lockerroom before every match

Shit the same thing happened to me 7 years ago i still got the scar on the palm of my hand, luck that i was already drunk and didnt mind the pain.

I guess you guys won thanks to the keeper's 'injuries'. Poor bugger.

Cool.