Metal Reviews

Lets kick this motherfucking pig.

Here is mine:

A Romantic Ode


I. An Ode To A Burly Man

Shall I compare thee to a rose?
Nay, thou art more bountiful
Thine breasts heave like the Kineret
Thy penis is large as a camel,
and doth make similar sounds.
When lactation is forthcoming
thou shalt yell "nippactose" with a smile,
and clamp thy busom down on injustice.
For when a man gives it to the bema,
he reveals his own destiny as a wily hermaphodite.
Yet when his beauty doth outshine the stars,
his left testicle shalt inherit the earth.

II. A Response to a Not So Burly Cockface


Thou betrayst thine lack of jewry
Thine hair is made of eels
Thy busom a bringer of death
When thou dealst with pigs,
And other such unclean vessels of the Lord
(a chicken beith not a chicken, but evil incarnate)
Thou showest that Jesus didst not appease thine will
For! Imagine a camel
That possesseth one leg
Against all the nations of the world.

(If I win this one too, there is something very wrong with this board).

Thou shalt win. It's funny. If I win then we have a much bigger problem.

Mine is pretty self explanatory, emo violence 4life


A smile to die for and a broken neck


Hey hey hey what do I see
Her majesty in front of me
Arms tied, blood runs down form her back
A smile to die for and a broken neck

Condescending no more, are you?
How the mighty have fallen right?
You broke mine, now I'll tear your heart
Tonight you are my work of art

Paintings on the wall, mostly red, some black
Statue of a head, astonishing, white
A movie,cult classic, based on a true story
Finally a poem, poorly written, dark comedy

Stop screaming, no one can hear you for miles
Here ends your life, here ends your lies
I told you we will always be together
A murder scene? No, this is our paradise

Brahm.

Turkey.

+1 for Kathaarian

Kathaarian.

kathy,

I liked Kathy's because it reminded me of some Pig Destroyer lyrics.

Definately the highest quality match so far. I love Dogan's, with his kill the queen fantasy, it'd make a great DM song. BUT! Brahm's surreal Jew poem has awoken something, and ultimately I vote for his.

Good luck to you both, whoever goes through quality is assured.

Well, the voting is over, and Kathi has won 5-3. Congratulations, man! I'm happy I got beaten by something with a lot of quality. Good luck in the rest of the competition

Thanks a lot, I really liked yours and thought you would win.