Metal Reviews

I'm sure we've done this before, but it bears repeating.

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Well, it depends on how high the light is and where the new bulb is and if he's old enough to do it himself and stuff. Between one and four, I think, more than that would get in the way and less would be silly.

Go!

Q: How many damn dirty apes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 3. 1 damn dirty ape to screw in the light bulb and 2 damn dirty apes to throw feces at each other.

Q: What's the difference between a pizza?
A: Yes.

CAUTION THIS MAY OFFEND SOME, but I couldn't give 2 shits.


What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

this was a new one i've never heard it before but i thank you for telling us this pleasurable joke as a mere collection of atoms and molecules created into something that thinks their is something but not knowing if it is really thinking theirs something or if it's even thinking at all and this is what every life form is if life forms even exist i could be imagining all of this but what is that, what is imagining how am i doing it and why am i doing it am i even doing it

I hate you.

you means me, i in this, so then i ask, what am i, and why do you hate i?

Q:What's the difference between Iraq and Michael Jackson?

A: Iraq pulled out of Jordan

Madonna comes into the sex-shop, looks at the goods and says:
- I'll buy this green one.
- Yes, madam.
- And this blue one.
- Yes, madam.
- And this yellow one.
- Yes, madam.
- And this red one.
- Sorry, madam, the fire extinguisher isn't for sale.


How do you know a drummer is at your door?

The knock slows down.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None the keyboard player can do it with his left hand

Q. What has seven arms and sucks?

A. Def Leppard

Two guys are standing on the side of the road. One's a drummer and the other doesn't have any money either.

Two fleas were talking about their travels one day. "I went to the symphony last night. I hitched a ride in the conductor's beard and stayed there for awhile. Things were great until the end of the first movement, when I fell out and landed in the soprano's cleavage. That was okay, nice and warm and all, but in the third movement she got all worked up and started to sweat. I ended up sliding down between her legs. I decided to just stay put and have a nap. What I don't get is that when I woke up, I was in the conductor's beard again.

A bassist walked past a bar.

It was "What does your dad do for a living?" day at school. The teacher asks Mike what his dad does. Mike says: "My dad is a firefighter", then she asks Jennie and she says: "My dad is a lawyer". Then the teacher notices little Johnie is sitting with his head down and a sad look on his face, the teacher asks Johnie what his dad does, he said: "My dad is dead", "oh im sorry to hear that, what did your dad do before he died?" "Turned blue and shit on the carpet"

I hear Sting is very interested in saving the rainforest. I guess he must have heard money grows on trees.

That's an original creation. I'm rather proud of it.

What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?
You can't gargle sand.

Bad-dum-tish.

that is fucking disgusting and a horrifying at the thought of trying to gargle ssand.

hey!!! that menstrual blood joke was mine!


anyway


Q: What's the difference between a girl and Misha


A: You tell me!

You snooze you lose amigo. Where is Mish anyway?

Neither would a Jew, because he'd already be dead!

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Your imaginary girlfriend said I'm better in bed than you.

Q: What did the apple say to the orange?

A: I despise you for being different from me.

you got that from family guy dont you? peter griffin ftw!

perhaps... she's bisexual after all
we mostly do it on the floor anyway or in our S/M dungeon.. na na

if he really is telling jokes from family guy, well..................

Q: Why didn't the plane take off?
A: Because the pilot was a potato.