Metal Reviews

i think more often that gets you dinner alone.

"You call that worm a penis?"
"I'm just looking for someone me and my wench can have a threesome with"
"My hobbies include playing the drums, gorging on junkfood and watching Japanese animation"
"I love you almost as much as I love vectors, which is not a lot "
"I'm a Philosophy major. That's right, I'm going to be very poor and just as reclusive"
"My goal in life is to become a crazy cat lady when I'm older"

Actually, I never ever went on a real first date with anyone, the closest I've been on was a quiet lunch at a Japanese tea house several thousands of kilometres away from our respective homes. It was at that hazy time when the fact that a relationship began has not yet sunk in, and we were busy tentatively testing the new waters.

We were talking about people back home, and I mentioned that once an acquaintance of my brand-spankin'-new wench came up to me, shook my hand for being the first one to show up at a gig and told me that I'd won a threesome. I jokingly complained about never getting my prize, and my boyfriend looked at me wide-eyed with shock. "Have you ever done something like that?" - he said in breathy, 'what the balls did I get myself into' tones. I assured him that in fact I did not, and had no interest in doing something like that (at least any time soon). The relief on his face was absolutely classic

Oh, and once when I was younger me and my then-brand-spankin'-new paramour went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. He was a very shy fellow, and tried doing the whole "stretch and put arm around them thing", but thought better in the middle of it and quickly retracted it. I wish I had the eyes of the people sitting a few rows back

Nothing uproaringly funny happened to me though.

yeah i've never really been on an actual first date either

although i suspect that devoted wanted more of "embarassing secrets" than first date specific stuff

"Is that a very long black nosehair?"

...or are we just pleased to see you?

Meh noodles, meh.

I spray raid on bugs when I am outside.

Why does it have to be an embarrassing secret? Most topics that people talk about on the first date don't usually include anything that could include embarrassing secrets and vice versa. Why can't this be just a general "first date hilarity" thread? Some people here haven't gone on a first date in a long time, either because they're in a long-term relationship, willingly single or hopelessly inept at acquiring romantic partners.

traitor!!!

How do you mean, you just want to talk?

You LUCKY son of a bitch. You have no idea how hard it is to get my girlfriend to hang up and end the conversation. The longer, the better for her. Ever talked for four hours? I have (of course I was playing video games and just saying 'yes, uh huh'), and it's horrible.

Just say "oh nooo!" to everything positive she says, and "yay!" to everything negative. Then make suspicious wet noises by quickly pulling on the side of your cheek.

Or you could grow a pair and explain to her that you find it very difficult or unpleasant to talk to her on the phone for such long periods of time. If she's a cool chick, I'm sure she'll understand.

98% of the chicks I know would break up right after you say that.

Or they'll say "oh sorry" but then phone you anyways

They only want one thing, and one thing only. Those women will eat your mind. Why do you think they call you for such long periods of time? They're sucking your sentience out of you through the phone!

She speaks the truth.

BEWARE THE SUCCUBUS

Noooe.. I meant he, Follow the Reaper, was a traitor cuz he had gotten himself a girlfriend. That's not very solidary towards the rest of us who haven't got a girlfriend (namely me). shame on you, FTR!!!

Am i the only one who is confused by this?

"Nigger."

"Rohypnol's got a very poor reputation for no reason at all, you know"