Metal Reviews

Ok, this is it. I can't take it anymore. Things have been really shitty for me this semester, my FINAL semester and it just gets worst.

First, my final year project is in shambles with the due date looming somewhere around the corner. Then my PC screws up and I end up blowing my savings on a laptop. Next the doc tires to convince me to got to some smokers rehab cos my weak lungs, and now.......my love life. FUCK!!!!!!

I've been tryin to call my girlfriend over the past week and she doesn't seem to be pickin up. She doesn't even reply my text messages. And today, is her birthday. I tried callin her since 12 am and she just doesn't pick up. I know she's really busy and stuff but don't tell me you don't wanna let me wish you?! Then the bomb lands.

I managed to get through her at 3.30 am. Wished her, and she was just very cold in her answers. And then all the blasting started. SHe apparanty found out I have been smoking weed recently. She dislikes me smoking that cos that was what her ex did, and he moved on to heavier stuff. She became a victim of his temper and was abused at times. I understand her alot. And she made me promise I'll quit it. And being a nice guy I did......but I've been smokin up behind her back. Plus she studies at a college 400km away. No way she's gonna find out. Well, that's what I thought.

The bad news is, she found out and was very disappointed with me. I feel sorry for her. And I feel god damn guilty. I love her a lot and I didnt want anything to fall through. Then she tells me "Don't call me anymore. If I feel like talking, I''ll call you" and hung up. Been trying to call her this whole afternoon but I guess she's still pissed.

Now, how did she find out? Only ONE FUCKIN WAY. I'm npt sure any of you are on friendster but I am. A day after I smoked up with my buddies from London, a friend of mine sent me a comment "I'm sure your proud of yourself getting whacked on one roll of cigarette:P". I laughed when he sent me the comment. And I was cautious as well. cos if anyone is smart enough, they would know what 'one roll of cigarette' would mean, and I'll be in trouble. But for some reason, I just left it. Didn't bother deleting it. So my bet is, she read that comment and put two things together. No wonder she hasn't been contacting me.

Why I feel SO fucked up is, cos, call me gay if you want, but I really love her. I've always watched my step in tryin not to lose her. And despite the distance, we have been going on fine. I'm really depressed at the moment cos of ALL the shit that is happening. I'm gonna keep tryingto call her. I've sent so many text messages apologising, promising I won't do it again. But I guess it isn't enough, or maybe it's just too late. Her past experience is bitter enough, and when she went through hell with her ex, she always opened up to me. And I feel very guilty of myself for breaking her promise, and her heart. Oh, why o why is all this happening to me......worst time of my life. Period.

Wow that sucks like shit. Keep fighting though don't let a anything bring you down.

yea that sucks...

shes getting over it soon enough...just be patient and do whatever she wants you to for a while. buy her a diamond ring or something

hopefully she'll realize you feel really guilty

Well if I had the money I would!!! But I don't even have enough to survive the semester! And I feel guilty I havent been buying her anything for the pass 3 years, cos I'm err broke? But she's a very understanding person. And I've seen that in her so many times, and that's the MAIN reason I like her.

I've been telling myself to give her time. I'm not gonna quit. GOnna keep on fighting. She is one girl I wouldn't and NEVER want to lose. The ball is in her court now. I just hope she forgives me. And if she does, I'm seriously not gonna touch anything she dislikes again. Oh, metal and gigs is an exception.

Either:

1. Explain to her that it was a joke, and you haven't really touched the stuff (except you confessed, you twit. Deny, deny, deny).

2. Explain it was to relieve back/throat pain.

3. Forget her and find a white woman.

HIDDEN OPTION #4: AVOID ZAD'S ADVICE LIKE THE PLAGUE

Listen to noodles on this one.

That really sucks, hellraiser. Just keep going, it's just a rough patch that life is throwing at you right now. Life always changes. Do you and your girlfriend have any friends in common that could communicate your remorse to her?

Carry on man, carry on.

Obviously, option three wasn't entirely serious.

seems as if you have alot of trouble around your ears lately. I hope that she'll forgive you, and i can understand the frustration of not being in control of the situation as the ball is in her court.

good luck
if everything else fail you could always try the Danny Devito trick from the movie Twins. Fill her apartment up with roses. It worked for the little gnome.

Wait, why are you broke and smoking weed? Weed costs $$$! Poor excuse not to buy her anything and smoke weed. Doing things behind someone's back is not cool either, obviously.

I say approach one thing at a time. She will call you when she feels like it, there is no point worrying about it until she does. Take your mind off things by slowly weening yourself off weed, and working on your project. Prioritize the depressing things and solve them in little less-depressing units.

When she does call, tell her 99.9% of what you posted here and see what happens.Try avoiding "I can change" stuffs, as it sounds cliche. If you do start weening herself off weed, tell her all about that.

The things that hurt most are not the actual vices men display, like smoking weed or sleeping around, but the broken promises and lying. Dishonesty about anything, actions or feelings, strikes deep when discovered. Indirect things like being inconsiderate suck too (smoking weed when you could have been spending that time, energy and money on her).

Anyhoo, I was waiting for some "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" reading this.

Hmmm... Over the past two days I finally called it off with my On-off ex-girlfriend from Swansea. Now I said to her that there's a core part of me that will always love her, be caring and shit, but I added that I'm no longer the man she used to know and because of the distance between us I've been exploring myself and my new lifestyle.

I'm not saying you call it off with her.

What I've worked out is that it hurts to know that we're no longer going to be in each other's lives other than emails or the occassional phone call, but it's for the best. There were many things I did that pissed her off - boozing, smoking and metal. She does those things in moderation, I do them far more extreme in comparison and I found that she was trying to chisel me into her 'perfect' man and compromise the person I am.

I agree that things have to give in relationships, but when it feels that things you enjoy have to be curtailed it causes friction. Ultimately I've lost her for good, but I'm no longer bothered because I used to accept many an annoying thing about her with a laid back approach that I could have kicked up a major fuss about like she did.

I'm saying dude, if you can't be the person you want to be first, then why bother with anything you do? If she loved you, she'd accept that there are things about you that make you what you are. Understandable she was messed around in the past, but she truely should move on from that, know you're her present (and future?) and stop tarnishing everything you do with the same brush as her past experiences.

Of course I realise this sounds cold. If you really want to be with her, kiss ass. If she is your future, make up to the best of your ability. Whatever you do, don't make changes to yourself that probably don't need changing. Be firm, be caring but don't lie to yourself and certainly not to her and you'll be ok.

Besides, have you considered that she might be on moody woman week?

all of them were bad...

Oh?

Well, clearly the man's buggered up big-time, and it all rests on winning her back around. Being serious, Sasheron's right; women will take bad behaviour better if you're honest than if you try and hide it. Ball's in her court, all we can do is say good luck and don't do it again.

im gonna come over

You smoking weed is an excuse. She's smoking cock.

Well I'm definitely gonna keep waiting, and trying. Zad's full of lousy ideas which I'm never gonna use. I'm convinced she'll get over it and understand.

She's always been an understanding person and never asked me to straighten up to her needs. She's always let me done whatever I wished and vice versa. I'm sure she'd understand this is a phase thingy and I'll get over it as well. Plus I'm not addicted to it.

As for the money problem, I'll always end up broke during this time of the year which is during her birthday. And she never fussed about me not getting her anything (although I did feel awafully guilty when she bought me a CK eu de toilette kit which costs RM 600). She knew last year I blew my budget on my bass and the trip to Singapore to watch Slayer. This year I blew everything on my CD's, DVD's and my laptop and she knows what happened. She's fine with my lack of ability in giving her gifts . But I'm graduating soon, hoping to get a job and when I do, I'm really gonna get her something nice. To make up for the 3 years of giftless birthdays and for what has happened. I spend most of my money on booze, cigarettes, music and with my friends. I don;t really use much on weed cos I get my supplies from a friend of mine. But I do feel guilt cos I could have saved at least a bit for her. But it's not too late I guess. All I have to do is wait.

quit smoking,...that is expensive, then you will have money for a diamond ring...damn good idea by me

You're not really broke, you just have bad spending habits She obviously doesn't openly care. I'm the same, I have horrid spending habits. I actually pose as someone who's good, I have an investment account and everything. I just recently emptied it to pay for gifts for the other half, wedding gifts for friends and part of a holiday.

Money usually disappears wasted on utter shit - junk food etc. I think all you really need to do is stop wasting money on shit 10% of the time and put it away. Get her a random present when it's not her birthday but just for the hell of it. Missed birfday? No problemo! You are covered hahah. Order roses through an online service at some point and get them delivered - women love that shit (I think).

Women aren't really that mysterious - dishonesty, broken promises, emotional abandonment and lack of consideration are the big things that can hurt most girls. I have a heart of steel and those things still hurt me, like that time in High School when my then-paramour ditched visiting me on the only day of the week we could see each other to play Counterstrike with his friends, then showed up later still expecting to get laid. I mean, CS? If he chose something decent, at the very least Halo I'd be more understanding, but rejecting my company in favour of CS? LOW BLOW! LOW BLOW!

There is a Catholic term for the feeling of alienation from God, "Dark Night of the Soul". It has now achieved widespread usage for other things. It basically means utter crushing fuck-off loneliness. That's what it feels like to be betrayed, or dumped, or abandoned sometimes. Those nights can last a very long time, even a lifetime. Knowingly or negligently causing someone to plunge into a state like that when there is no necessity is very mean.

Hellraiser_xes: your girlfriend sounds like a very special kind of woman. If she stays with you, you better shape up or you'll lose someone awesome. Even I don't put up with that kind of shit. It is reasonable to make changes when you recognise that what you're doing is bad and not necessary.