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Seinfeld26
 Post subject: The Extreme Teen Bible
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:29 pm 
Jesus is totally radical, dude!!!
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noodles
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:31 pm 
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Ist Krieg
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Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 7:40 am
Posts: 13758
Location: Canada
1600 pages o.O
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Anonymous
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 12:31 am 
Quote:
The Extreme Teen Bible dares teens to crack open its pages and live up to the cutting-edge standard found inside. This New King James translation (thoroughly explained in teen-friendly language) is clad in funky purple print and snowboard-type logos, appealing to the thrill seeker by promising a life of "no fears, no regrets, just a future with a promise." Generous introductions, full-page profiles of faith-filled biblical characters, and a quick reference index covering subjects from abortion to worship guide the young reader into a more "extreme" relationship with God.


Hahahahahaha...
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Emmerder
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:09 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2005 5:47 pm
Posts: 367
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It doesn't need to convince teenagers that it's cool, it just needs to convince grandparents that teens will think it's cool.
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noodles
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:44 am 
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Emmerder wrote:
It doesn't need to convince teenagers that it's cool, it just needs to convince grandparents that teens will think it's cool.


good point
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Caligula_K
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:51 am 
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ITS NOT XTREME IF IT SPELLS XTREME WITH AN "E"
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Anonymous
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:11 am 
gay
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Anonymous
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:13 am 
I like how that summary had to mention abortion, which is not even mentioned in the bible. Goes to show you how fucking corrupted this thing really is (as if The Bible wasn't already corrupt enough).
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Astaroth
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:45 pm 
Quote:
... The Bible becomes a survival guide to the world that teens live in.


survival guide?!... i'm sure i could rewrite it into a small flyer:

" Don't be gay, don't have sex, don't drink, abortion is bad, stealing is bad, killing is bad, raping is bad, obey the will of God."


i'm pretty sure teens can survive without it. I think, i did.. i'm not dead yet or live behind bars.
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Kathaarian
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:54 pm 
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Astaroth wrote:
Quote:
... The Bible becomes a survival guide to the world that teens live in.


survival guide?!... i'm sure i could rewrite it into a small flyer:

" Don't be gay, don't have sex, don't drink, abortion is bad, stealing is bad, killing is bad, raping is bad, obey the will of God."


i'm pretty sure teens can survive without it. I think, i did.. i'm not dead yet or live behind bars.


But you'll go to hell.

BABOOOOOO
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Emmerder
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:36 pm 
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Kathaarian wrote:
But you'll go to hell.


Survival guide. That part comes later.
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hellraiser_xes
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:47 pm 
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Einherjar
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Hahaha :lol: . Funny shit. I wonder will this book even sell.
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Cú Chulainn
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:06 pm 
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I love how all the 5-star reviews on the right hand corner are sometimes completely sarcastic.

_________________
I am not here, then, as the accused; I am here as the accuser of capitalism dripping with blood from head to foot.

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Caligula_K
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:38 pm 
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Astaroth wrote:
Quote:
... The Bible becomes a survival guide to the world that teens live in.


survival guide?!... i'm sure i could rewrite it into a small flyer:

" Don't be gay, don't have sex, don't drink, abortion is bad, stealing is bad, killing is bad, raping is bad, obey the will of God."


i'm pretty sure teens can survive without it. I think, i did.. i'm not dead yet or live behind bars.


But you're not XTREME!
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Astaroth
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:56 pm 
yes I am!!! :huh: you can ask my mom if you don't believe me



Kathaarian wrote:
But you'll go to hell.

BABOOOOOO


dude.. now you're just being mean :sad: what an awful thing to say





... are you coming with me? :) .. oh! .. guess what!! you are!! only mormons go to heaven... na na na na na naaa na na na... nice.. we can make funeral doom black metal all day long :dio:
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noodles
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:42 pm 
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FrigidSymphony wrote:
I love how all the 5-star reviews on the right hand corner are sometimes completely sarcastic.

phail XD
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TheOctavarius
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:51 pm 
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What the fuck is this shit?
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Eternal Idol
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:53 pm 
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TheOctavarius wrote:
What the fuck is this shit?


What the fuck is that completely unfunny gif you have.
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TheOctavarius
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:10 pm 
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Eternal Idol wrote:
TheOctavarius wrote:
What the fuck is this shit?


What the fuck is that completely unfunny gif you have.


Which one?
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Goat
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:31 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:02 pm
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Both!

And who says the Bible doesn't advocate rape? David and Bathsheba? The bit with the Levite's concubine (raped to death, then he cuts her up and sends bits of her body everywhere?). Lot's daughters thinking Lot is the last man left on the planet, so they both get him drunk, (somehow) have sex with him and their children are Amnon and Moab? David (again!) and Jonathan's 'oh-no-they-weren't-gay-they-were-just-very-good-friends' relationship? Judah and Tamar?

Not to mention how childish and psychotic Yahweh is. Stonings, plagues, wars, the complete and utter annihilation of the seventy nations that lived in Judea before the Israelites arrived?

The Bible is very, very wrong. Be thankful Jews are underdogs...
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