Metal Reviews

Okay, as metal fans, I think we've all had to deal with them at some point. Metal is a rather unpopular genre (at least here in the US). And many people either have a bad opinion of it, know nothing about it beyond "loud guitars", or both. So, without further ado, what are some of the dumbest comments you've ever had to endure about metal music?

Here are some of mine.

Audra is a friend of mine, and she happens to run my college's Volunteer Committee

Me: I'm going to go see the Megadeth concert in about a month.

Audra: Oooooh, so it's songs about killing people?

::Shakes head in disgust - Ironically, Audra's a fan of Punk Music ::

Here's another one:

Message Board Poster: Slipknot is a brutal death metal band.
Me: I'm not even going to respond to that.

Luckily I haven't run into very many people like that. Alot of people I bring metal up to are clueless at first thinking its all slipknots and Mansons. I then go home and I make them a mix cd with songs I think they would like based on their interests in music. Not one person has not enjoyed the cds I made them.

However one person I used to work with drove me nuts.

Moron: Techno is so awesome, I know cuz I make it.
Me: thats cool, some techno is ok, more of a metal fan myself.
Moron: what the hell? you like that funeral music shit?
Me: What?
Me: *plays him some Gamma Ray*
Moron: What the hell is this, its funeral music and its depressing me.

Actual convo.. I gave up after that and then I took part in a sting with management to get him fired cuz we all hated him.

Noodles: Everything.

"It's all the same!"

"It's violent!"

"It's stupid anti-christian temper tantrums!"

"It's gay"

"The singer sounds like he's a eunuch"

Lol, that is HILARIOUS.

I can't really think of one myself, other than the usual "it's just some guy screaming and some idiots bashing their guitars" bullshit.

moron: everything with distorted guitars is satanic!

There are 2 things I'm really tired of hearing when it comes to heavy metal.

The first usually comes from my girlfriend who I consider a generally clever and aducated person which is why it annoys me even more.
"Most if not all heavy metal music and heavy metal musicians are satanic with hidden satanic things in their music, lyrics and album art."
I've tried many times to explain to her that in heavy metal, if some group wants to be satanic the don't hide it but show it out clearly but she won't listen.


The other one comes from many of my friends and older relatives.
"How can you honestly listen to that? It's just noise!!"
The funny thing here is that I'm mostly a hard rock and heavy/power/prog metal fan....

Moron: What the hell is this, its funeral music and its depressing me.
Dago: Fucking prick get your facts straight.
*plays some St.Anger*

Guy I work with : Anybody can play that. How does it even take talent? (he then makes a weird noise out of his mouth while playing air guitar. I think by doing this he was showing me how he thinks behemoth play guitar )

Then I played them some softer powermetalish stuff and they still don't get it.

Another guy I work with: Why would I want to listen to somebody vomitting into the microphone? (what? I'm frikin playing you power metal!)

I can't remember who I heard this from, but: Why do you like that, you can't even hear what they're saying. I need to hear the lyrics in my music. (because MUSIC is all about lyrics )

Youze needz 2 listenz 2 limp bizkit n' nu-Metlica. Cuz doze be da baddest mudafuckin' bandz in da 'hood. Bhemoth n' Niigthwihs be shitty honkey muzik.

When i was starting on my education we had 4 tutors, 2. or 3. year students who was supposed to function as ppl you could ask questions, if you had any concerning the education.
So this stupid nerd jerk tutor, probably jewish (as if that has anything to do with my story?!) walks up to me because i have metal shirt on. I had already seen him perform on a stage in the school theater, acting like himself playing Rammstein pretending to be tuff. So i knew what to expect.

Moron: What are you listening to?

Me: I'm listening to this french band, called Bekhira. You want to listen to it?

Moron: Yes! *puts on the headphones and looks weird and then remove them again*... do you know Rammstein?

Me: he he, yes, but i'm into that any longer

Moron: hmm.. Okay.... but they are awsome!


a month later... I'm sitting at a computer and this moron sees me. I just hoped he would stay away sparing me for any akward situations. But he approaches me slowly and then pulls himself together and ask me yet again...

Moron: Hello, Kim

Me: Hi

Moron: There is this band, Rammstein Jam playing this week. Do you want to go with me?

Me: No.. i still don't listen to Rammstein (especielly not with you)

Moron: Okay.. but you should *then he walks away looking very dissapointed*


i don't know what the fuck he expected ha ha...

You know I don't like you, but I do feel like kissing you over this.

mostly from classmates but also from my stupid sister:

- you can't understand the lyrics: FFS, YOU DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH YET YOU LISTEN TO ENGLISH-LANGUAGE MUSIC ALL THE SAME!!

- i heard slipknot and they suck: actually i agree, but it's sad that they, along with Marilyn Manson, pretty much "represent" metal to most people.

- it's all noise: this one pisses me off more than any of the others, and it's the one i get most often. it's one thing to say that you don't like something, but to call it noise just reeks of close-mindedness. just because they can't catch the melody or whatever doesn't mean no one else can.

also, with certain heavy/power metal bands, i think the problem for most people is the plain "metal" stigma, no matter how clean or melodic it sounds it's still metal, and other times it's simply the inherent "loudness" of the metal genre that makes even the most accessible metal sound too heavy for some people.

Random prick:

[About Black Metal] "That's just noise. It's like banging on a garbage can and screaming."

[About Death Metal] "Those guys have no vocal talent whatsoever. They just growl cause they can't sing. And I'm immature and like mainstream shit and I need to always understand every lyric."

The more people hate metal the more metal stays true and brutal.

Well, this is kind of off the subject but this is my friend trying to convince me that A7X is better than Nevermore...i think i've posted this here before but it's easily the dumbest thing I've ever heard.



Har har. And yeah, the "It's just noise" thing is really stupid...just because people are too used to mainstream music to hear what's going on in the music doesn't mean that there's nothing going on. the music.

"I absolutely hate heavy metal or anything like that! It isn't music, its just people who can't play instruments or sing so they just turn the volume up and scream"


and in a discussion about emo's in english class:

Teacher: What is emo music?
Moron: You know, Iron Maiden and all that shit.

I tend to get the 'satanist dark shit' comments, although my mother did stun me the other week by telling me a friend of hers from work played her some Pantera and she liked it. Her favourite band is Supertramp.

Since then, she's listened without flinching to Metallica, Slipknot, and - today - Marduk. I've never been so worried.

That would seriously piss me off...

gay

my mom called a manilla road song "avant-garde" the other day. I guess in her defence it was the end of a song when it was just a whole bunch of feedback for a while. i never really get the "omg y listen 2 metal it just is liek dum n stuff" comments because the only people i talk to about music like at least some metal.