Metal Reviews

You have an Ikea dresser called Marduk? That is officially awesome.

My sofa bed is called Azazel.

I bought some underpants not long ago called 'Skratch N' Sniff'. They live up their name quite well. I had to buy a particular detergent to clean them called 'Schtreak & Wash'.

you should let me wear them some time

lol wow

Sure. But understand it's hard to get that ass smell off of the finger you us for scratchin'

My thoughts fucking exactly.

Fast and Furious, I think "Heave Shall Burn..." is a classic and maybe just only maybe this one could be in that category...

@Herr Goat:
You are one of the most opinionated people here, and yet, whenever anyone expresses one which differs from your's it is more often than not derided as ridiculous, "facepalm", etc... nice. Well done, old boy.
I made a claim as to why I though Marduk was a stupid name for a band like them, stated my reasons and backed them up with solid data. And if it was so ridiculous, why even bother rebutting my points? My points were valid and backed by data, yours consisted of "Who cares?" and "maybe they read a different version, etc." and my favorite: "Ridiculous".
No. You just cannot stand being wrong; hey, I don't like it either, but at least I'll admit it if I am.
You should be thankful; if not for the swirling controversy, the review would have died a typically bloodless death after a half-page of "commentary".


@ Alex:
Classy. Bravo, sir. The sniper, having hit his target, slips back off into the cover of night...
Divulging the contents of a converstaion that was meant to be between nobody else but us, and only half the conversation I might add (funny, isn't it how you neglected to mention why I chose not to return to reviewing albums here... you do remember those reasons, I am sure that you must, since you recall the diplomatic excuse I gave for my bowing out. It was an excuse I used to let everybody save face, at least in part. I was expecting a new child, yes, but I probably could have come around eventually, but at the time, stark honesty would have made for bad blood. I see you still hold that bad blood. Sad, I let that go a long time ago.)
Since those reasons were not mentioned by you, the forum gets a very one-side and slanted view; the truth is, it was a lot more complicated than that.
Anyway, I guess I should be honored that you took a whole ten minutes out of your extremely hectic, busy life to swoop down from your lofty tower to take a snipe at me. Cheap shot, perhaps, but hey who has time to "waste"?
And I love how my supplying links to data to back up my side of the argument (also love how I carry the entire burden for the discussion as well; it does take two, doesn't it?) is considered "wasting bandwidth"...
Well, there are probably a thousand links on this website, so whats a little more bandwidth?
Ironically, a day later, the site is infused with annoying ads...

hahaha.

If you think I am interested in arguing further with either of you, think again, but things needed to be cleared up.

Well, considering you're now restoking the flames that died out three days ago, it would seem that you are interested. I had half a mind to just delete your post in the interest of not having this flare up (again), but I suppose you deserve a rebuttal. Just please do me a favor, in the future, if you feel the need to respond to an argument that has clearly died down, I would rather you did it via PM's.

So we can discuss the album now... great!

For such a smart guy one would think you'd be able to install an ad blocker plug in or something.

Valefor, before I go any further, besides the fact that I don't recall signing any kind of non-disclosure agreement with you, it seems totally unreasonable to me that you clamor somehow that I broke our confidentiality, when I made absolutely no reference to any details discussed b/t the two of us. Seems to me it was you who wants the mention of that e-mail correspondence.


Now, this is where I left it in this thread. I obviously made my point, you responded, I let you had the final word. You felt your first response was insufficient that you needed three days to gather your thoughts to comment further?


You like facts. This is how I remember mine and I trust my memory.
The year is 2003. Late October - early November. Mike, who handled a lot of admin duties, in response to the forum opinions and in agreement with many other reviewers in the group, decides to look specifically for extreme metal reviewers. It is no secret that with the early reviewer staff the slant towards power metal and hard rock was significant. He gets an enthusiastic application from you, comes back to the group and goes on and on how you will be the truly knowledgeable BM reviewer we sorely lack. The decision is quick and unanimous - we have to have Valefor to boost MR credibility in the extreme metal department. Accepted into MR just about a year or so prior, I most welcome the fact that a reviewer who is so much into BM, and also an individual close to my age (read - older dude) will be joining the team, as all other older guys on the team at a time openly profess that they simply do not understand or appreciate BM. Do you recall the welcome you received immediately upon joining, from the whole group? Everybody does get that, no matter how things turn out in the future. You went on to blast out a pair of solid reviews three weeks in a row. You focused mostly on CLASSIC BM stuff and obviously what you consider high quality extreme metal, as your scores are 88, 93 and 99. That's OK. To begin with, we all like to write about the stuff we like and feel comfortable with. The last review comes out Dec 8, 2003 and after some short, very short period of silence you gave everybody that diplomatic response you mentioned and then you left. Did the stuff go on b/t you and Chris in those three short weeks you contributed? For the life of me, I can't see why would he harass a guy who just joined and is so valuable. Could you have some clashes with him afterward when his hot temper and your flaming comments in the forums clashed? Most certainly. Could he have said something rather harsh? I don't doubt that could happen. You said you could "come around" and come back, but because of the things said you didn't. What? You expected there will be groveling on hands and knees to beg you to come back?


If you are saying that your diplomatic response back in Dec of 2003 was triggered because you were being pushed out, you certainly fooled me. And "saving face", whose face was being saved? MRs? I guess you were a touch too kind then, almost coy, trying to save face for some group of people writing metal reviews for the site, who you have never met in person. Back in Dec 2003 I thought, we, adults, with jobs and families, tend to overreach sometimes making commitments. So, at the time I thought you simply overreached. I do that often, I promise myself I would run a mile a day, but when I can't keep it up I don't start telling to other people who struggle along that they are not running this mile properly.


And this is my main gripe with you. For whatever reason you left, Chris having said something during your reviewership stint or not being able to handle the commitment. Then, after a while you started coming after the whole reviewer staff, in general, for one reason or another. In the thread when someone suggested we started slanting way too much towards BM, you said we don't do enough of it. You said we review all kinds of crap unobjectively, and do not teach the young ones to "separate the wheat from the chafe". I can go on with many examples, but my main point, from your own perched tower you sit and spew vile continuously questioning MR credibility. I can allow it for general forum posters, but can't reconcile myself with the one who had a chance to contribute to the cause, raise the MR credibility further, and for whatever reason did not take advantage of this chance. You did have that chance. You gave it up. And that is why I will try and rebuke when I happen to wonder on these forums and see that you are going after one of the current MR reviewers unfairly.
I don't pretend to occupy any moral high perch. I am just as human with all of my drawbacks and imperfections. But everyone who joined MR before or after me, they know my name, I sign with my full signature, they know where I work, they have my phone # and they are welcome to call me anytime if they want to discuss metal, fun or difficult stuff in their lives. Many did. I am privileged to have learned about many guys on MR staff personally and I am better for it. I became friends with some, and I clashed with some, but even then we were able to resolve it. You obviously like to parenthesize "team" as you use this term disparagingly in relation to MR. Whatever our problems, shortcomings and differences, I quite like what I have been a part of for 7 years and counting now.

Oh please... you can cling on to something that happened six some odd years ago if you must, I choose not to.
For someone that claims to have so little time to waste, you sure live in the past a lot.

I don't expect anybody to"grovel"... who said I did? Nice wordplay, but no dice.
What I don't expect, is a scathingly insulting letter from Chris when my computer was down for a couple of weeks and I had no way of contacting anybody about it. Not that any of that is any of your godamned business to begin with.
Who in the hell do you think you are? Seriously, you think that any of the things that went down between Chris and myself are any of your business whatsoever?

I also applaud good reviews of good albums, when applicable, on a much higher ratio than panning bad albums, actually so, whatever, man.. When did I come after the "entire reviewer staff"?
This:


Is nothing more than pure fiction.
Examples, please?

So, because I once reviewed here and decided for my own personal reasons not to continue with that path,my opinions on any given album are to be scrutinized and censured.. by... you? Again, just exactly who the hell are you?.
You obviously harbor some ancient grudge against me... I really couldn't care less, I hope it eats you up inside.

Yes, I was avoiding more bad blood than was necessary, but you seem to revel in picking at old wounds. Once again, not that it was ever any of your business, anyway.
Again, bravo. A class act all the way, you are.

Anyway, you're wasting my time, now, so leave off with it already.

What I'm getting from this is that clearly, things of epic proportions went on between Chris and Valley. Perhaps they were going to set up a business together, importing leather goods and selling them on for a profit. Perhaps open a small shop, the American dream come true. That plan's still clearly in operation, from Valley's statement that his time is being wasted by reading Alex's post... this site must be like an online version of smack to him, to keep him coming back when he should be sorting out deliveries of calfskin and the like. Perhaps Valley and Alex could go into business as well, what with all the chemicals necessary for the tanning process? He obviously misses being part of a team in that way, perhaps some arrangement could be... arranged? Although I expect the union will be after him for all the payments that he's missed.

If this thread proves anything, it's the power of Marduk to bring people together. Perhaps they chose their name knowing about the Wikipedia definition; how wise of them. What a great band.

Clever parables aside, first and foremost, all that ancient history has no bearing whatsoever on anything, especially this thread.
Second, to not review was my choice and I really have no desire to do so; no, I enjoy batting it around with the other members here, whether in serious mode or facetious mode and, whether or not that is reciprocated is another matter, but still I come here because it is like a small close knitted community, in it's own way.
Third, Marduk is a silly name for a Black Metal, even a quasi-BM, band.

lol



So what? There's a lot of silly band names out there. Who cares. You're getting pretty bent out of shape over a mediocre BM band with a goofy name. Serious biz.

I'm clearly in the midst of genius here... almost as thought provoking as your last post, but, the quality seems to be... slipping.
You must care, since everybody is getting there panties in a bunch over my opinion of their name.
Jesus Kee-rist.

Besides, if you can't tell that the last line was a facetious remark made to point out the absurdity of this whole thing, then I can't help you.

Edit:
Saw the edit and I am marvelling at the fact that you think I am "bent out of shape".
Bizarre, really.

I don't really like this album too much, but it's liveable-withable overall.

Oh my, what tenderness. So you got a scathingly insulting letter from Chris you did not expect and decided not to continue with the rewiership. Sure, none of my business, but seems like a soft excuse to me. I just stated the facts the way I remembered them, you filled in with the letter fact, but I stand by my opinion that you simply quit. Quit with the review writing, but found the time and was OK posting all over the forums on the site owned by the guy who sent you a scathingly insulting letter you could not handle.

And it is quitters I have a gripe with, whether they work for me, play sports on my team or share into the review writing hobby with me.

You mentioned censure. Accorinding to how I understand the definition of the word, you would've been censured if you weren't allowed to post here, or if your posts were somehow altered. You are still here as far as anyone can see, and nobody tinkered with the words you said.

But I am just as allowed to comment on your quitting and your opinions, sensical or not, just like you are allowed to post them. So it is not your place to tell me to "leave off". I earned my rights on this site.

Oh, give it a rest, already.
I'm not even reading your posts anymore.
Enough.