Metal Reviews

I've always been kinda uneasy with the "girls like jerks!" argument. Partly because any guy who gets to date a girl I like or liked is the biggest fucking jerk of all time.


Is more accurate I think. It's not really a "nice vs dick" kind of thing. People who'll bend over backwards for you are not only boring, but make you feel bad because you want them to pursue their own interests, have a personality and be happy but if they're going along with whatever you say, you have to trick them into doing it.

Exactly. There's a difference between going to reasonable lengths to get what you want and going to unreasonable lengths to get what you want. If the girl sees that you're sabotaging yourself and your happiness just for her, she isn't going to respect you. She'll just perceive you as clingy/needy. It's okay to "go the extra mile" with a girl, but it shouldn't be at the expense of your own well being or personal life.

Also, in response to Karma's comment about girls "going out with assholes and then complaining about them to you", I find it's often best to be a little firm with them when they vent to you. Don't be too coddling or complementary with the girl. Rather, ask her something like, "Why are you going out with these guys if you know they're jerks?" or "Do you yourself really know what you want in a relationship?" In other words, give her something to think about, rather than just shallow comfort.

Hanging out with depression girl is surprisingly harder than I thought. Going to London with her next week for two days, hoping we'll spend minimal time staring at our shoes.

Yeah. The key is to be happy and productive in your personal life before going into a relationship, I think. Because then the things you do for going the extra mile or whatever will be more meaningful and line up with what the girl wants. Whenever I've met someone who is clingy it's because they have very little going on in their lives other than relationships.

@Mintrude, when it comes to depressed people I would highly advise not thinking of starting a relationship because that's the worst, but be there for emotional support and whatnot 'cause they need that.

I've been in a long distance relationship with the same girl for nearly a year and a half now (minus a stupid break we took last summer)... if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you never learn EVERYTHING about how to take care of your significant other. Because we're so far apart, a ton of things end up coming out of us that surprises ourselves. When you're really trying to hold onto a connection with all of your being, the things you find out about each other are amazing. My girlfriend is somewhat depressed - her parents and brothers are abusive, both physically and mentally, and it really hurts that she can't just come over and be with me whenever she's in pain. But we've always held on - the stress caused by our relationship causes fights, yes, but there have been a LOT less lately, because of the fact that we're seeing each other on a bi-monthly basis now.

And, if you're having some problems in your personal life (ie. you were laid off work, a big class project isn't going as you'd hoped, etc.), make sure she knows you're making an effort to deal with them, rather than clinging to her and complaining about them.

So three weeks since I broke up with my gf of a year and I feel ready to start chatting with other ladies. However, my romance skills are severely lacking. Oh well...

Use this a tiny bit of solace, no matter how bad you think you are, ole emperorblackdoom is worse (but only because he is so black metal). You can take this to the bank!

I'm lonely and I suck at talking to attractive girls. She did stroke my shirt three times cause it was soft though. After the third one we had a cute/awkward "you went too far!" smile at each other. I still have no idea if she likes me. mlia

When I was in grade 12 I befriended a bunch of grade 9 females. I tried all year to lower their self esteem to levels of suicide and depression. I've kept in contact with most of them via MSN or facebook. Now they should be ready to graduate high school with their self esteem pretty low, so it will be easy for me to pick up. I'll just come riding in and try to rebuild them. Be a shoulder to cry on, etc..

I'll let you guys know how I do.

you're a very bizarre person devoted walnut

What husker said.

No offense, but I don't see how you could "suck" at talking to attractive girls unless you suck at talking to girls in general, because it really isn't any different from talking to average or unattractive girls. In fact, I think many attractive girls are sick and tired of guys treating them "special" just because of their physical beauty. They're tired of the "nice guys" treating them like princesses (buying fancy gifts for them, worshipping the ground they walk on, etc.). They're tired of the "assholes" mentally masturbating over them and plotting to rape'em. And so on.

You might actually be surprised. It's not uncommon to see a drop-dead gorgeous girl dating a shy/semi-nerdy guy. At the same time, there are many supermodel-quality women who are actually very lonely and miserable. They don't have many (or any) female friends, because all the girls are jealous of their beauty. They don't have many guys going after them, because they're all too scared to ask them out on dates (again, because of their physical beauty). And so on.

Do you know all this or are you just guessing?

Earth girls are easy.

I'm speaking from personal experience.

That's encouraging. Although I mostly go for "cute" rather than "hot" girls...

I can talk to hot girls but when I get that feeling of "I want to not only screw you senseless but also hold hands while we walk through parks in the sunlight and cuddle with you, too", while not really knowing how she would feel about this it makes me super self-conscious. I spend time around her trying to guess how she feels and how I should act to improve my chances and incredibly afraid of saying something wrong or stupid and it makes thinking of things to say extremely difficult. Actually the worst part is that we both hang around the same place a lot at school and I'd feel like a dolt going up to talk to her every time I see her there, especially when she's with friends, because we aren't that good of friends, but I'm afraid if I don't we will degenerate back into SMILE AND NOD acquaintances. sup thinking about things too much, how r u tonight

it's unbelievable how much of a pussy you are noodles

My question to you is, "Why are you thinking of 'walking through parks in the sunlight and cuddling with her' right now?" Save those thoughts for after you've had enough dates with her that you can safely say you're both going to go somewhere together. But, in the meantime, why not just think of getting to know her as a person and seeing if, at least, you're compatible as friends? You could do that just over a casual lunch at Subway, or may be invite her to hang out with you and your friends at the bar or the movies or whatever.