Metal Reviews

I don't want to contribute to your ego but you're probably right. Not as if you should be proud of that or anything.

I'm amazed American bars aren't regularly overrun with teenagers wearing kilts and doing their best Billy Connolly in an effort to moisten local panties.

Amazing that this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvOQxeQKrdw

is considered sexy over there. Surely my own Colin Firth voice would get better results. And it's natural! Not faked, like Fridge.

It's not "sexy", it's Scottish, which is enough. It's exotic and what have ye.

EDIT: It's probably BECAUSE of things like punching burning terrorists in the face.

Frankie Boyle, however, is king.

Eh, he gets a bit much on his own, works better as a team. Ever watched a full show of his? Gets wearying, that sort of humour needs a bit of light to keep it funny.

I adored every minute of Tramadol Nights. Even the faked gay-rape scene I thought was hilarious, despite my friend Craig having to turn it off.

Yeah, Tramadol Nights is just ridiculously OTT. His best days were on the Mock The Week panel.

Oh look, I just deleted a post by dead1 talking about prolapses.

ban him

I love you.

You guys are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too serious.

Are any of you fans of stuff like Tom Green, Jackass or South Park?

Or is this more of a "Golden Girls" and "Who's the Boss?" kinda place?

No, this is more of a "DINNAE BE A FECKIN CUNT OR WE'LL MOD YER FECKIN ARSE YE BOLLOCKS".

Yes, because we don't like reading posts about disgusting bodily functions gone wrong all day, we clearly have no sense of humour whatsoever.

Who was being a fecking cunt?

It's a Post +1 count which is about dribbling shit.

Every other forum I attend, people jump onto stupid stuff like this and we all have a good time coming up with deranged ideas.

Yet here there is this drab seriousness and lack of fun.

The reviews are gexcellent but I suspect that there's more than a terminally depressed people here who would be more at home at a meeting of accountants than getting drunk at at a strip joint and waking up in a pool of their own vomit with a kebab in their pocket (true story).

Git tae fuck and dry yer eyes, prolapsing is disgusting and yer a gobshite twat.

It is because we don't understand metal properly. It is actually anti-intellectual, fun, and stupid. It can never be serious or complex. I know because dead1 has told me so!

Here's a fun idea - stop posting!

Whoa, because that does not involve any bodily functions whatsoever I must be a really drab, boring person who is terminally depressed. My mind totally exploded man. I totally must go to a strip joint and drink until I vomit on myself, then totally put a kebab in my pocket, because apparently that's a good time.

Exactly. When your joke is not laughed at, it is because of everyone elses lack of humor.

Way better a time than sitting around being all serious.

"Hey let's talk about how we feel"

"I feel depressed. I was never breast fed."

"Me too. "

Hears the sound of a very small violin playing in the background.



See, now this lad knows how to have a good time!

Did your mum shove a broom handle up your butt when you were born?

Life's too short too be too serious.

And if you take Metal seriously you've got some serious issues.